I am beginning to see the relevance and necessity of why I should remain alone, away from all normal relationships, as I fulfill the role of messenger of the Marvelous Work and a Wonder®. I found considerable peace today, more than I ever have before, outside the relationships that most feel bring value and purpose to their lives.
My relationship with The Brothers doesn’t count. They live emotionally unattached to all relationships, including the one they have with me. I’m beginning to figure them out. They couldn’t care less about my emotional problems and weaknesses. Although they have lent a sympathetic ear to my tirades and emotional breakdowns throughout the years, they have simply let my rantings go in one ear and out the other without letting my emotions affect their’s, what little emotions they have. :-)
Their only purpose has been and always will be, the protection and perpetuity of the MWAW message, using the rest of us, who volunteer to do so, as pawns. They always knew that one day I would get it … and it took the sacrifice of the experience of Rod Vessels to finally help me “get it.”
Get what? one might ask.
Get my personal (and everyone else’s) insignificance compared to the purpose and value of the MWAW message. The message remains true, but it has always been human relationships that have screwed everything up in this life, as they were meant to do.
Hell, the Bible, as well as most ancient scripture, couldn’t be more clear about how women screw things up for the men in their life. From Eve’s first sin to Lot’s wife turning to a salty mess to Delila messing with Samson’s hair, the way that a woman interferes in the emotional balance of a man (just for one example of the world’s relationships) has shown the downfall and chagrin, sometimes, of whole societies. Just as someone is more likely to be raped by one that they know, we are more likely to suffer from those who love us than we do from strangers.
Then Lot goes off and has sex with his daughters, which further adds to the downfall of many generations. DAMN WOMEN! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
And if you actually believe that Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt, then you deserve to be a man with the Bible as your guide. :-)
Can I live in this world and act towards it and all the people that share this life with me as the Brothers do? I believe that John had that hope for me once. Didn’t happen. They can’t tell me anything that I’m going to believe for fact. You can’t tell any free-willed being anything and expect that being to accept what you are telling them without question. They have to learn for themselves through experience. If we could learn by listening to someone else, we wouldn’t need this mortal life, now would we? We would have listened to other advanced humans tell us how wonderful everything is and we would have believed them and got on with being eternally happy beings.
It took 25 years to prepare me … and what years they were! :-)
Emotional disconnection is probably the hardest thing anyone can do, but it’s also the only thing that will ever bring one substantial and lasting peace. And that’s the irony of this mortal life. We cannot emotionally disconnect ourselves from others or we’ll feel alone and miserable. Yet, when were connected to others emotionally, they have the potential of being an emotional burden to us.
But how else can I be a true messenger delivering a message that is meant for everyone equally when I am emotionally attached to any particular relationship?
Thus, my friends, if my dear “saintly” wife must make that sacrifice, then what do you think is expected of you so that this messenger can get on with messenging properly? :-)
Our pending divorce does not mean that Sheri and I will never be together. It means that we both have taken a better, more honest look at why we are together and what brought us together in the first place. Just as I do, Sheri exists for this Marvelous Work and a Wonder®. And just as I, without it, her life would seem meaningless. And all can rest assured that if I am ever going to be in a normal relationship, it will be with Sheri. If I’m ever going to a party with anyone, it’s going to be with Sheri. And I would like to go camping with a bunch of you, but I will only be going with Sheri. You see, Sheri represents YOU to me. She’s what YOU are all about. Without her, there wouldn’t be YOU. :-)
As I contemplate my autobiography and go over the experiences in my life, I can see the cause and effect of my past experiences, all of which have led to this point in my life where I can give up normalcy (in regards to relationships) so that I can perform my role correctly.
Think about it.
How can I exist in a world that I know is not real, yet at the exact same time, know that I live in a world that nobody else knows exists? How in the world am I supposed to have a close and understanding relationship with someone that lives in a world that is not real to me, yet I recognize the person as someone completely different in the real world ? It’s like eating a radish knowing that it is a grape.
(Most won’t have a clue what I just wrote. But to those who’ve received the MWAW Apocalypse, this should make perfect sense.)
But anyways,
__________________
I received a bunch of email about Harry Dschaak’s rant about me to John Roh and also about Johnny. Many wish I would not have promised to meet with Harry in public. One asked what the Brothers had to say about this. “They have nothing to do with it,” I answered. “This is about Harry silencing himself.” Harry has to face me directly. He has to face Kurt and Monica Smith and John Roh and many others who he has publicly demeaned and disparaged. He has to look us in the eyes and face what he has been saying behind our backs. That’s really what this is all about for me and this work.
I heard from some that they don’t want to attend such a negative event and I don’t blame them. It would be a huge waste of time and effort … if I were to put any time and effort into it. A few hours of listening to the same old, same old, then responding, “You be right and I’ll be happy,” has never hurt anyone. :-)
What Harry doesn’t realize is that he has already won the debate — in his own mind — and that’s the only mind that counts … to Harry. :-)
Does anyone actually think that Harry is going to concede that I won the debate, even if it appears without question that I had? No matter what is presented, Harry will always win and I will always lose … depending on who is judging the debate.
I’m not going to counter anything he says. I’ll agree 100% with his conclusions. He can have all the time, if he wants. Hell, we are even willing to record his opinion and get it out to the public for all to see.
Why not respond to him point by point? Because it would be pointless. If Harry had anything of substance, he would have already shared it with others and it would have changed the minds of those with whom he has shared it. He hasn’t been able to do anything to this work except get more people interested in investigating it. This work is sin missionary, solicitation and proselyte work. It has its enemies and critics, which do a fine job of sharing it. :-)
However, I will respond and answer if called upon to do so. But I’d rather not. I’d rather do as I said above and respectfully tell him, “Harry, you be right and I’ll be happy!” And then I’ll go eat a radish. :-)
Someone wrote and asked why my enemies and critics lie about me. This person looked up the court records to see if what they had reported about me was correct and is personally aware that it was I who decided to divorce Sheri, and not the other way around. And further, that “saintly” Sheri would stay devoted to me inside or outside of our marriage.
The answer to their lies is simple and is given in the introduction to my autobiography on the MWAW Official Site:
“The propensity to justify a lie about another person, more than any other part of human nature, has contributed to the downfall of both whole societies and many an individual’s character. In order to prove and maintain their own self-value, which includes their opinions, beliefs, and the perception others have of them, human beings devalue each other. No guilt is felt, and any necessary means is justified, when one is defending his or her own dignity and value. When faced with a situation that threatens one’s self-value, reality is often transformed into a false perception that reinforces and maintains the individual’s pride and self-worth.
A lie is a perception that is not real. It can be something we want to be true so strongly that we refuse to accept any other possibility that would discount what we want to believe. Upon accepting something as true that would devalue one’s self-worth, a person places one’s self in a position of vulnerability. Few want to admit that they are wrong. And no matter how much evidence is presented in contrary to what we believe, our self-worth is more important than reality. Therefore, the truth is hardly ever known when dealing with the human species.”
Sigh … 
Here I am,
… alone again …
… naturally …
… desiring some radishes. :-)
