I exited the north doors of the Salt Lake City Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during the early morning hours of June 16th, 1987, with a completely different perspective of human life than I had a few hours earlier.
I was employed as a Security Officer for the LDS (Mormon) Church and was working the 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. graveyard shift. Security Officers were required to cross train in all areas of Church Security. Although primarily stationed at the Church Genealogical Library and the LDS Church Museum west of Temple Square (an entire block situated in the heart of Salt Lake City, Utah, U.S.A.), I was assigned to the temple for my June 15th shift.
I noticed the early light of the late spring sun glowing behind the majestic Wasatch mountain range to the east. It was still mildly dark outside but the portend of the sun’s warmth overwhelmed my entire body. I quickly realized that the warmth I felt came from within, similar to how the body feels when flushed with embarrassment. This overwhelming tingling sensation encouraged my thoughts.
“I am a powerful God!” I excitedly cried in my mind. “I’ve been redeemed from the fall! And I’m now a Savior of others! I have the power to redeem others from the fall and make them a God like me! I’m the most intelligent* mortal living upon the earth!”
Just a few hours earlier I had learned everything that there was to know about our existence as human beings upon this earth. More accurately stated, my brain was allowed to access the intelligence and, therefore, inaugurate the perception* of all things as they really are, as they really have been, and as they really will be.
I now knew that humans are highly advanced life forms (the most sophisticated possible) existing in an environment generated by the thoughts and sensations of a complex brain, which now didn’t seem so complex. I understood everything about the brain and how it works. Our current experience upon this earth, which we recognize and accept as our only reality, is actually created entirely from brain activity taking place in the cranial appendage (head) of these advanced life forms.
Our perception of our current reality is comprised only of our experience as human beings on this planet we call Earth. The real truth, however, is that all of our present human experience is actually two conscious cognitive dimensions** of brain activity apart from our true self.
As the most advanced life forms possible, we exist as eternal human beings in an environment that complements human experience to its fullest. I call this our First Estate of existence, which, in reality, is the only real human environment that essentially exists. It is an environment that has always existed and will always exist the same forever. Our physical body in this First Estate is the most superior anthology of matter possible. It is the most advanced life form possible in any environment. It is the only type of physical body that has ever existed, and the only form that will ever exist, to house the greatest conscious form of life possible … “life” defined as the ability of an organism to be aware of itself and exist independently from all other matter.
The physical nature of the environment of this First Estate is as eternal and unchanging as the beings who live there. Unlike our current, perceived Universe, where there exists (at least to our mind’s ability to comprehend it) galaxies, solar systems, and planets, this First Estate places all humans together on a physical plane that extends in all directions without beginning or end. There are no planets, solar systems, or galaxies.
As these eternal advanced beings, we seek new experience to enhance the independent nature of our eternal souls. We have one desire. This longing is paralleled and consistent with the same aspirations that we retain upon this earth: to experience happiness … where “happiness” consists of an interaction within an environment that fulfills our expectations. To have a new personal experience outside of the environment in which we have always existed and will exist forever, we choose to “play a game” (for want of a better way to describe it). This “game” is the most advanced form of recreation that any human can experience. It is the only way that advanced life forms can feel leisure that adds refreshment to an otherwise repetitive, monotonous, and boring existence.
We engage in play with others who choose to “play the game” at the same time we desire to “play.” The platform for the game allows play to begin for a group of “players” who have mutually agreed to enter the game at the same time. The rules of the game do not allow one group of players to alter the experience or disrupt others who are already playing the game or who will choose to enter the game at a future time. To accomplish this, the game’s platform consists of a Universe of ever-expanding galaxies, solar systems and planets. Separation into these isolated environments protects one group of advanced players from disturbing the game being played by other groups. I call this “game platform” our Second Estate of existence (the 1st cognitive separation from our true self**).
As we begin the game, we are “put to sleep,” or rather, we become completely unaware of who we are and where we came from before entering the game. This is possible because of how the operations of the game control the energy transmissions that directly affect the brain. These pre-programmed electrical emissions numb the areas of the brain where memories are stored. They do not affect other areas of the brain that are responsible for sensory interaction with an outside environment. While we are engaged in playing the game, this environment consists only of a Universe of galaxies, solar systems and planets. Our senses create stimuli within an environment that directly result in the storage of memories, thus creating human experience. With highly advanced precision, programmed electrical (energy) transmissions stimulate our senses and simulate a Universe inside our mind.
The game’s functionality allows the physical development of a new area in our brain that is completely isolated from all other parts of the brain while the game is being played. Once the game has ended, the new experiences become part of our memories and are incorporated into our current reality by un-numbing the part of our brain where previous experiences are stored. Each time we play the game, new brain cells (for want of a better explanation that can be understood) develop that allow the experience to become part of our eternal, advanced brain. We’ve been playing this game and will play this game, literally, forever.
The complex and advanced structure of the eternal human brain allows an expansion of memory without causing the cranial dimensions to increase. Our heads do not get bigger. The expansion and storage of new experience in an advanced human brain can be understood by comparing the very first modern computers’ ability to store information with current storage devices. Whereas it once took an entire building to house a computer that could record and store a library of information, the same amount of information can be stored on a device smaller than the smallest coin. As technology expands into the future, computer science will continue to reduce the size of memory while expanding its capability. We will soon be able to store information on a subatomic level. However, without advanced human knowledge and technology, we will never be able to duplicate the way that an advanced human brain stores experience.
Without the ability to remember what we have already experienced, there is no coordination between what we now perceive as our current reality and what we have stored as experience. We cannot walk, we cannot talk, we cannot properly utilize any of the functions of our new body. We become like an infant. In this state, we become dependent upon other more experienced players to help us learn to use our physical body and develop our new character within the game. Some of these experienced players have entered the game with the specific purpose of helping other players develop their new persona. I call these experienced players Gods, for want of an easier term to describe their vast capabilities in comparison to our limited experience. Working alongside these Gods are others who have long since played the game and chose to remain in the game with the specific purpose of becoming a God to help new players learn and develop.
As stated above, the Second Estate provides us with the separation from other developing or developed advanced humans. The game allows us to choose specific environments where we can be challenged while playing the game. Once fully developed as advanced humans in the Second Estate, we ultimately arrive at a situation where we find ourselves, again, in a repetitive, monotonous, and boring environment in regards to the new experiences that we are having as advanced humans. To complement our new existence and help us more fully enjoy and appreciate our life, we choose to enter a “sub-game” (a different level within the game) we are playing in our First Estate. However, keep in mind, we are completely unaware in our Second Estate that we are involved in a mind game. Yes, it is explained to us, but our ability to comprehend this reality is impeded by the only conscious, current reality we know as Newly Created Advanced Humans in a diverse and continually expanding Universe.
This sub-game is called mortality. I call it the Third Estate of our existence (the 2nd cognitive separation from our true self**). This is the only existence in which we freely subject ourselves to experience pain, misery, and all the other things that are in direct opposition to our true natures as advanced humans. No human being, in his or her right mind, wants to experience suffering. But we knew that without experiencing mortality, we could never progress to a full sense of individuality and happiness as advanced human beings.
The experience of mortality also takes place within the confines of our true, eternal brain where the Second Estate experience is occurring. The mortal “sub-game” is generated by the operations of the parent-game. The electrical transmissions responsible for numbing the area of memory in our true self’s brain increase in intensity to allow the experience of mortality to occur. In other words, everything is happening within the only brain that we have, that we’ve always had, and that we will always have—our true self.
As I pondered on these extraordinary things that I now understood, but that have been hidden from the knowledge of humankind since the foundation of the world, a review of some religious scripture from my LDS background came to mind. This thought process began to generate within my mind, not from past readings alone, but from a discussion of them with the advanced human who was responsible for giving me the new information and who also wrote the scripture:
“Ye were also in the beginning with the Father; that which is Spirit, even the Spirit of truth; And truth is a knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;
… Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence. Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light. …The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.” (Joseph Smith, Doctrine and Covenants (D&C), section 93, verses 23–24, 29–31, 36)
Could it be that there was no beginning of humankind? Could it be that humankind is simply an expression of our thoughts and perceptions of a reality created in the environment in which we exist? Could it be that our own intelligence creates the reality of our existence? Could it be that this intelligence, or rather our true self, has existed forever and was never created or made? Could it be that God exists unchangeable today, yesterday and forever, and that humankind, also being with God since the beginning, was not created or made? Could it be that human perception of reality is the “intelligence” that creates the human experience—that is responsible for the creation of the Self? Could it be that nothing that humans know and understand upon this earth, all that we have created or made, is not true intelligence—the light of truth, but a personal deception and illusion? How can it be real intelligence if eternal intelligence has always existed and cannot be created or made?
Could it be that our agency, our free will to act for ourselves according to our own intelligence, has always existed? Could it be that this free will makes us equal with God? That it makes us Gods? Could it be that how we exercise our free will condemns us? Are we solely responsible for how we use our agency to act and allow ourselves to be acted upon?
Could it be that there is no God above us, or a devil below us? If there is no God and there is no devil, then how do we act and allow ourselves to be acted upon? There are many intelligent people who do not accept a God or a devil as part of their reality. Although it is logical that we can exist without a belief in a God or in a devil, but if neither exists, then the responsibility of our actions, both good and bad, falls upon our own shoulders. This burden is hard for many free-willed humans to accept. Why? Because humans often choose to do bad things to each other that do not reflect their true humanity. Blaming an outside source, such as the devil, makes the burden easier to bear. Believing that a Savior exists to “redeem” us from our choices satisfies the demands of the human conscience to be justified in the exercising of free will.
The “fall of mankind” is simply a separation from God, where God is one’s true self. To be redeemed from this separation means to arrive at recognition of the eternal nature of humans and understand our uniqueness and power as living Gods. And just as important in our redemption is valuing all other humans the same.
“Because thou knowest these things ye are redeemed from the fall; therefore ye are brought back into my presence;” (Book of Mormon (BOM), Ether, chapter 3, verse 13.)
“Brought back into my presence?” “Man was also in the beginning with God?”
Could redemption simply mean the point at which a human being arrives at an understanding of intelligence; i.e., the things that we have always known from the beginning? If this real truth, this intelligence, is “things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come,” and this intelligence makes God a God and gives God glory, then are we not all Gods of our own reality?
There are winding back stairs that lead to and from the upper floors of the Salt Lake Mormon Temple. Moments before as I descended from the upper room where my enlightenment took place, I smiled and burst out in short laughter at this thought:
The presentation of the LDS Temple Endowment begins with a presentation of a character called “Michael” as part of a Godhead consisting of Elohim (the Father) and Jehovah (the Son). Elohim and Jehovah put Michael into a deep sleep. When he wakes up in an obvious dream-like state, he becomes the characters Adam and Eve. The endowment presentation would never mention Michael again.
“What happened to Michael? Did ever wake up from the deep sleep? I laughed at the ignorance of the LDS people who receive this endowment, the most important ordinance they can receive. Just a few hours before, I was just as ignorant as every other Mormon. I had eyes that could not see and ears that could not hear the obvious truths presented in the endowment.
“People are praying and Lucifer is answering their prayers! Elohim and Jehovah never hear or answer prayers! These real truths have been right in front of us the whole time!” the thoughts continued, as I made my way down the winding stairs towards the temple’s exit.
It would be many years before I finally understood and was allowed to explain the purpose and symbolism of the LDS Temple Endowment. And when the answers were published, the scales of ignorance began to fall from the eyes of any Mormon who read the explanation of the endowment in Sacred not Secret—The [Authorized and] Official Guide In Understanding the LDS Temple Endowment (2008).
Upon entering the early morning darkness, slowly dissolving by the glow of the rising sun, my mind was clear and sharp, more so than at any other time in my life since then and more than it would ever be at any other time in my future.
I was indeed redeemed from the fall! I was a God! I knew that all human beings were equal Gods, as they have been forever and will be forever and ever! And I was called to be a “savior of men” and help redeem others from the fall by assisting them in remembering who they are, who they were, and who they will always be: ETERNAL, POWERFUL GODS RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING THEIR OWN WORLDS—THEIR OWN REALITIES!
Then it hit me:
How in the world was I going to explain these things to others? How was I going to help others understand “things which have been hid up since the foundation of this world” and of which I was completely ignorant just a few hours before?
I didn’t need to worry about how I was going to do it, because the plan was specifically outlined for me. But, I now recognized that I was a God and in control of my own free will! (So I thought to myself at the time.) I was mortal like everyone else but I knew things that others could not remember. If “the glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth,” then there was no fully mortal God like me!
I began to have thoughts of grandeur and arrogance, spawned from the reality of the intelligence that I was now able to recognize and which had become integrated into my current reality. My mind raced and began to create diverse ways that I was going to utilize to explain to people and teach them what I now knew. I began to imagine and invent these ways in my own mind. They seemed to me, at the time, to be the best way to do it. But as I pondered upon these things, the profound reality of what had just happened during the last few hours begin to diminish their importance.
As I reflected upon the experience I was humbled. If the way and order in which these real truths were to be shared with the world had already been devised by those who oversee the game, then who was I to usurp them? Nevertheless, it would take many of years of experience before I was ready to do it their way. From the time of my enlightenment I began to rebel against what had already been decided as the best way to help my fellow Gods come to knowledge of real truth. Knowing that I was an equal God to every other God that exists, promoted the self-worth that I needed to perform what was asked of me. But this self-worth backfired, or better, needed to be bridled and controlled, because I knew that I was in control of my experience! I was the only God that mattered in my personal experience! During the following years, I would learn through some very miserable experiences that my way was not the best way! But I had to learn this through experience. No one could have convinced me at the time that my way wasn’t the right way.
In 1991, a series of events would lead to my rebellion. I gave up the commission as a true messenger to the world. The sacrifices seemed too great and created a lot of unhappiness for me. Why should I, as the Supreme Creator of my own experience, allow myself to be miserable? I didn’t understand, at the time, the responsibility that came with the knowledge that was given. Well was it written,
“And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required; and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:47-48)
For many years (twelve to be exact, from 1991 to 2003), I was “beaten with many stripes.” My mentors left me to my own consequences. My rebellious course in life would cause emotional turmoil, not only on me, but also upon any who chose to become part of my life. I destroyed the emotional bonds and values created from being a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, or a friend. Without a purpose in my life for which I was allowed to have this incredible knowledge, the captain of the ship on which I was sailing lost control of its rudder. Purpose no longer steered the course of my destiny. Arrogance, pride, and ego did. But I KNEW the true purpose of life! Knowing the purpose of life negates the purpose for which mortal life is necessary! If everyone were supposed to know the true purpose in life, then my role wouldn’t be required. Therefore, I had no purpose in life. I was lost and awake in a “lone and dreary world” where everyone else was sleeping and dreaming.
During my rebellious state, I retained the knowledge that this life was just a “game” that we were all playing as highly advanced humans. With this intelligence, I began to play with other’s lives, disrupting their free will and their right and ability to play the game according to their own desires and purposes, living without knowing. I knew the rules of the game that we are playing, just as an advanced human perceives them. These eternal rules were nothing like the rules and laws that the ignorant ones (everybody else in the world) had invented and to which they were forcing each other to conform. So endowed with this knowledge and tempered by my own ego, I made up my own rules and played the game accordingly.
In 2001, an unscrupulous, newly seated Mormon Judge of the Third District Court of the State of Utah, Denise P. Lindberg, would abuse her power and authority to incarcerate me for almost a year. Although it will be shown and proven how she illegally accomplished it, Judge Lindberg’s lack of jurisprudence provided the impetus that would propel me back into my role. Ironically, a strict Mormon Judge would unknowingly help put me back on the right course. In November of 2003, I finally conceded to accept the role that I had been asked to perform. The purpose for my life was restored and the fruits thereof would threaten the very thing that Judge Lindberg wanted to protect: the integrity of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Just a few hours earlier, shortly before 2:30 a.m., on that June 16, 1987 morning, I had retreated to a room on one of the upper floors of the temple where only the LDS Twelve Apostles meet. When I entered this opulent room, I found twelve chairs of considerable quality and I noticed that each individual Apostle had a 3′ x 4′ hand-painted portrait of himself hanging upon the walls. My deep frustration with the obvious hypocrisy of the LDS Church led me to question everything that I had believed as a worthy member. This deep sense of emotion had been building up in my soul for many months as I experienced what really happens out of the public’s view within the government and operations of the Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, otherwise known as the LDS (Mormon) Church.
Upon entering this luxurious room, I could no longer hold back my turmoil and anguish. I wept; and I wept bitterly. I fell to my knees and asked God, and I wasn’t sure at the time if there was such a Being, with all the energy of my soul, if the leaders whose pictures decorated the walls of this room were His chosen leaders, and what I should do in my disillusionment. In this great moment of despair, I heard a soft but firm voice, so it seemed at the time, that penetrated the very depths of my being, saying, “Who else would you have me lead this people?”
I then looked around the room and the occupation of each of these men came to my mind.
“Of course!” I exclaimed, “A doctor, a lawyer, an insurance man, a businessman!” As I thought of their worldly occupations, I realized that the great success of each of these in his chosen field of worldly praise and glory was responsible for his placement in the Church’s hierarchy. I then realized, again, so it seemed at the time, why the Lord had suffered these men to be chosen. They were the type of leaders that the members wanted to lead them. They were successful men of the world, whom the hypocritical members envied and praised. They were corporate heads, CEO’s, of the richest church (per capita) in the entire world!
Assuming that the clear voice that I had just heard was a literal and direct answer to my prayer, I gained the courage and confidence to continue my supplication for more answers. I bowed my head and closed my eyes tightly. I proceeded to ask what it was that I could do to improve my doubts of the veracity of the Church. I had no sooner arranged these thoughts in my head to be spoken aloud, when I found it impossible to speak any of the words that I attempted. My mouth froze up. At that moment, a tremendously bright light began to fill the room. I became very frightened, not knowing if I was to be reprimanded or killed for the negative thoughts that I had, about what I thought up to this time, were God’s chosen servants upon earth. And I was not one of them.
Before I could form another thought, a personage appeared before me. I immediately recognized this person as the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr. Not only did I recognize him by how he looked from the artist renditions of which I was accustomed and familiar with through the descriptions given of him by the Church, but there was something inside of my mind that assured me that it was truly him.
I didn’t have the slightest idea how to react. I simply knelt there astonished. He smiled the kindest smile I had ever seen and said, “Christopher, do not be afraid; for it is I, Joseph, whom you have been taught to honor as a prophet of God.”
I suppose he perceived my doubts of his presence, because he reached out his hand, lifted me up, and helped me into one of the chairs that was in the room. He told me that the Lord was well aware of me and that I demonstrated the faith and strength of few men. He told me that I would perform a tremendous work for my fellowmen if I remained faithful to the commandments that he was about to give to me.
The uncertainty and overwhelming awe of what was happening caused more fear to arise in my heart. “Was I being deceived by Lucifer pretending to be an angel of light?” The dogma and teachings of the Mormon faith filled my mind with great anxiety. We had been taught that Lucifer was a liar from the beginning and that he has the ability to transform himself into any form that he wants to deceive us. Had Lucifer taken Joseph Smith’s form to deceive me? My heartbeat increased exponentially as these kinds of thoughts permeated my mind.
At that moment, my grandfather, Joseph Nephi Nemelka, who died in July of 1971, also appeared from within the light that still filled the whole room with its brilliance. He was exactly as I remembered him. I had spent a significant part of my childhood close to him, more so than any of my other siblings or cousins. His presence immediately began to comfort my mind. “My grandfather would never appear to deceive me,” I thought.
I wanted to embrace my grandfather, but as I had the thought, Joseph told me that I could not. Consistent with my Mormon beliefs, Joseph explained that my grandfather had not yet received a body that mortals could feel. This explanation began to reassure my mortal mind that everything was in the proper order, an order that Satan surely wouldn’t follow. My grandfather also smiled and reassured me that he was sent from the Spirit World to comfort me and to help teach me the things I needed to know in order to perform the work that the Lord would require of me.
I began to cry profusely, knowing that I was a frequent sinner, who at many times had broken the commandments of God. I expressed my fear that I would not be able to do the things that would be required of me. My grandfather told me that I would be taught many things in the future that would prepare me for the work that I was commanded to do. He said that I would be guided as necessary to bring about this work. With my grandfather’s reassuring and comforting words, I allowed myself to believe that Joseph was real. “Wow, this was really happening!” I begin to encourage myself. At this point, I had turned over my free will to the instructions of Joseph and my grandfather.
Joseph Smith then told me that I was chosen to bring about the sealed portion of the plates of Mormon that he had not translated while he was on earth. He explained many things to me about the wickedness of the Saints in his time; and that the Lord saw fit to take him from among them because they would not hearken to his commands and abide by his teachings.
I asked why I had been chosen for this work and what would be required of me. Joseph responded that I was one of the very few who was not affected by the material things and honors of this world. He told me that I would be tested many times in the future to see if I would be willing to sacrifice all, even my own life if necessary, for the sake of the kingdom of God.
At this point, I again began to express my doubts and my unworthiness to fulfill such a calling. My grandfather assured me that I would not have been chosen unless I could accomplish the work given to me.
A flash of brilliant light appeared directly between Joseph Smith and me, and to my surprise, there were the gold plates of Mormon. I didn’t dare touch them until I was instructed to do so by the Prophet. I slowly turned each leaf and was astonished at the preciseness of the writing. As I turned the pages, I thought about how much these plates would be worth. No sooner had I thought these things, than Joseph warned me that this temptation would always be with me, as it was with him, and that I should cast it out of my mind if it ever came again. As I sat in front of these two glorious beings, I was embarrassed greatly for what I had thought.
Both of these men were dressed in white robes that covered their whole bodies except for their ankles, wrists, and necklines. Their robes were each tied by a white sash, similar to the sash used in the modern LDS temple ceremony. They were both very pleasant to look upon and my fear of them at this point was completely gone.
I then received many instructions and was told that I would lose all my friends, family, and close associations before I would be ready to present the translation of the plates to the world. I asked these beings what further would be required of me and whether I should tell my family and friends.
I was instructed to leave the employment of the LDS Church and to give no indication as to why, nor tell anyone what had taken place. I was not even to tell my wife at the time, for she was to be tested to prove her worthiness and ability to support me in this work. I was told that I would travel extensively in preparation of doing this work and that I would become known as an apostate of the Church, but that I should allow the Church to do with me as they wished, for its own sake. I was told that I would be given many opportunities to meet those who were being prepared at this time to aid me in this work, but I was cautioned to test each one, so as not to be deceived or betrayed by them. I was also instructed in many other things that I could not reveal at that time.
I wondered greatly about the condition of the LDS Church and the righteousness of its leaders, seeing as this was the cause for my prayers that led to the heavenly visitation. Joseph Smith proceeded to quote some scriptures, which he told me to remember and present to the world along with the translation of the plates when it was ready to come forth. I asked if I would translate the record myself, or if someone else would give the translation to me. I was told that I could not translate the record at this time, for it was Joseph’s position and authority to determine when the time was right. He told me that when the time came for the record to come forth, that he would visit me and give me further instructions.
I expressed my doubts in withstanding the inevitable mocking that would come because of my claims, and that not being able to show the plates to the world would greatly hinder my ability to do the work. Joseph laughed a most sincere laugh and my grandfather smiled profusely.
Joseph replied, “Do you think that your persecutions will be any greater than mine were?”
At this, I smiled and began to understand. I wholeheartedly accepted the role as the translator of the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon and the world’s last true messenger.
As I focused on Joseph’s instructions, I didn’t notice that my grandfather had disappeared. I was alone again with Joseph. Once again fear began to penetrate my mind, causing me to question everything that had just happened. The hair rose up on the back of my neck and a terrible sensation of “evil” crept over me. Sensing my trepidation and fear, Joseph gently moved towards me and reached out his hand to touch my face. My eyes widened with uncertainty and utter fear. I held my breath and moved my head away from his touch. The chair in which I was sitting restricted me from moving away any further to avoid his advance. His touch to my right temple was something that I had never felt before, nor would I ever feel again. An incredible rush of energy swept throughout my body from head to toe. The fear and foreboding of my own doubts immediately disappeared.
There standing before me was a completely different looking man. He looked nothing like the Joseph Smith of Mormon history, myth, and legend, yet now I knew that this advanced being had once lived upon the earth—he had once entered the game of mortal life as the man, Joseph Smith, Jr.
According to the rules of the game, a true messenger had to know, not just understand, but KNOW the real truth. HOWEVER, the prospective messenger’s free will had to be protected by all means. The intensity of the game’s energy transmissions that had blocked my memory of what I had experienced during the Second Estate of existence was diminished just enough so that I could remember, with some effort, everything that I had experienced from the time that I entered the game as a newly created, advanced human being up to the early morning hours of June 16, 1987.
The advanced human male, who I would continue to call the “resurrected Joseph Smith” throughout the years, didn’t need to tell me much else about the protocol he used in offering me the role. The appearance of my grandfather, all the religious talk about “the plates,” about “the Lord’s will,” and the explanations and discussion of scriptures relevant to my commission to “translate the plates,” now made perfect sense! It was all an illusion, a deception, of sorts, to ensure that my free will was not impeded. I had to accept the role freely, without any interference or manipulation by the advanced human who was responsible to extend the offer to me. It had to be offered to a typical, orthodox Mormon man the way that he would have expected the experience to unfold. Otherwise, I would have been forced beyond my ability to make a fair, conscious choice to reject the role, which would have violated the rules of the game. “Joseph” used manipulation in order to protect my free will and ensure that my acceptance of the role was not forced upon me.
“Joseph” knew I had to accept the role. There was no one else. He did what he felt he had to so that I would willingly accept. What I didn’t realize until then was that I had agreed to the role long before the foundation of this world, or in other words, during my life as my true self in the Second Estate. I now knew who I really was. I was certainly not Christopher Nemelka! From that day forward I have always had a problem looking into a mirror and seeing the form of a man who I am not.
In that one moment, the magic, romance and mystery of human life completely changed for me. I understood all “the mysteries of God in full!” I was redeemed from the ignorance and uncertainty of an existence in a “lone and dreary world.” After many years, and after I had finally been prepared to perform the role of a true messenger, one of my mentors would write to some others and describe, better than I can, how my perception of mortality had changed:
“It was compulsory to allow Christopher full access to our true reality to assist in the performance of his role. His emotional sorrow derives from this empathetic actuality. Christopher’s reality is based in the experience where we exist concurringly to the absolute of reality consistent with life in this universe. This experience has been expounded to you as that of a nascent human being. Your comprehension would lean to the conclusion that only advanced humans exist; advancing the inference of one typecast of human. Your comprehension would lien to the conclusion that our consciousness is affected by mortality, augmenting the development of human joy.
Your comprehension solidifies the rationalization of this mortality as our true reality, ignorant of the substantial evidence of another. Christopher considers our true nature as his lone reality. He perceives mortality as your comprehension would lean to the conclusion of a dream once awakened into a conscious state of mortality. Consequently, he is burdened with a consistent maintenance of a value-centered connection with his course of action. Occasionally he might project a dismissive and inconsistent nature to his actions. This is his natural response to sorrow. If he experiences sorrow, his reflective response is to avoid it. Upon avoiding it, he often subjects the true nature of his comprehensive to an overwhelming increase in turmoil of which he lacks the cohesive mental construct required to apply a value. If turmoil is emotionally valued, one applies positive motivation so as to consistently enhance its value. Owing to the uniqueness of his perception, Christopher is unable to tolerate sorrow and assign a value to it; thus enabling a constant performance to avoid the inevitability of the negative emotion, it having no real value to him.” (NOTE: These are my mentor’s original words. When presented to their intended recipients, I had to rework his words for a clearer understanding.)
Part of the game I was asked to play was a commission to translate the sealed portion of the gold plates (as they are known in the Mormon culture) that Joseph Smith, Jr. did not translate with the published Book of Mormon (the unsealed portion of the plates).
But, now I knew that the gold plates were created for a purpose, a purpose that no one but I understood. I knew, from the vast amount of intelligence that I had just gained, that the Book of Mormon existed to counter the Bible, the most influential and widely read book that had ever been invented and published by humankind. I now knew that the Bible was a compilation of myth and imagination, invented principally by men in order to control the minds of others and create a common God outside of the true God within each of us. This imaginary God allowed mortals (mostly men) the ability to control and manipulate others with their philosophies mingled with scripture. If such a God existed outside of the self, then the true nature and power of human free will was lost to a personal subjugation to a power that that didn’t actually exist; a power that others controlled, that impedes and greatly diminishes human free agency.
The Bible is false, but then so was the Book of Mormon! Would two wrongs make a right? Within a few months of June 1987, I would begin to question the way that I was asked to play with people. Why couldn’t I start reasoning with people and use the intelligence that I now had to convince them that the Bible was nothing as they supposed it to be? Why couldn’t I go to the LDS/Mormon people and prove, through their own scriptures, especially those introduced by Joseph Smith, Jr., that they are equal Gods and can only be redeemed by themselves, by the intelligence that they gain in this life? Mormons believed this way:
“Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” (D&C, section 130, verses 18–19.)
I would struggle with this personal conundrum for many, many years to come. Why not just tell the real truth? Why did I need to “translate” plates that had the appearance of gold that I, my family, my friends, my peers, my culture believed were real? The time finally came when I rebelled against the commission to “translate the gold plates.” I would encounter many years of personal experience that would teach me that there was an order to all things. This order protected the free will of each person to create his or her own reality and experience life accordingly. Although I could distinctly remember and understand how “Joseph Smith” used this order to get me involved, it would take many years of rebellion to humble me and instill in my mind the importance of following this order.
This order mandated the publication of The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon to counter the Book of Mormon, or rather supplement it in an effort to counter the Bible. If people believed in the Bible, then they had that right of belief according to their agency. If people believed in the Book of Mormon, then they had that right. People had the right to self-deception; the right to create a reality that wasn’t real; the right to an intelligence that did not exist from the beginning and will not exist forever into the future. Deception or not, people have a right to create whatever reality they choose. They have this right because they are Gods!
I would continually doubt my ability to perform my commission and maintain the order by which free agency is protected. It all seemed way too silly to me now: using myth to counter myth and deception to undeceive. I wanted to shout the real truth to the world! I wanted to write a book that told people how it really is, how it really has been, how it really will be. I wanted to tell people that they exist, that they have existed, and that they will always exist as the most advanced compendium of matter found anywhere in any reality: the human being. I had hope and faith that others would understand; that they would “get it”; that they could redeem themselves from their ignorance and “fallen state” by using their common sense.
During my rebellious years (1992 to 2003) I would attempt to play with people’s minds, hoping to accomplish with reason what the order required of religious belief. I would play a part of a polygamist to help women out of polygamy. I would play a family role as a brother, son, nephew, and cousin, always with the hope that I could find someone in my family with enough intelligence to “get it.” None ever did. I would write a small, private publication I called, Reality Quest, in which I would tell stories and present scenarios to get people to think. Nothing I tried ever worked.
In the process of playing with so many people and trying to manipulate their free will my way, I lost the only thing that I valued: being a father. I would lose all contact with my nine children. The women with whose lives I would play knew there was only one thing that could hurt me and cause me emotional distress: not associating with my children. I felt the hurt from being denied what I valued the most, like my children’s mothers had felt the hurt of my rejection of them. The wrath of these women beat me in the end. But their actions also added to the incentive that caused me to reconsider performing the role as a true messenger.
My rebellious years would teach me valuable lessons about the proper protocol of introducing real truth into the Game of Life. I was asked to follow an order of helping people find real truth by using their accepted myths and deceptions. This was the order. This was the way I had been instructed. It was the way that it was always done in every human experience that has ever existed as we play the game of free will.
Shortly before 2:30 a.m., on the 16th of June, 1987, I didn’t know anything outside the intelligence of any normal religious person. I was reared and bred to be a Mormon, a member of the only true and living church of God upon the earth. I was taught that the Book of Mormon was the word of God, as well as the Bible, as far as the Bible was translated correctly. I was taught that I, and all worthy males, had been given the power of God through the Melchizedek Priesthood to act as God’s emissaries upon this earth. I was taught that the leaders of the LDS Church were the only divinely appointed men upon the earth through whom God would speak to the people of the earth and give His commandments. I believed in God, the Father, His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. I believed in all the tenets and beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was a Mormon on June 15, 1987. On June 16th I was not.
Over the years as I pondered on the things that had happened that morning and the personal conundrum that created the cognitive dissonance that confused me, I realized that my transformation from Mormon belief to non-belief was forced upon me. I did not change over time. I changed instantly. There was an enormous contrast between my reality of June 15th and that of June 16th. What had happened to me had never happened to anyone upon the earth. I was the only one. What occurred that early morning didn’t happen according to my personal free agency. I didn’t want it. I wasn’t asking for a commissioned role to explain real truth to people. I didn’t have the preconceived notion that it was even possible. But it happened! And it didn’t matter what anyone would think of me, or what I thought of myself. What had happened had happened. And from the moment that it happened, I began living in a completely different reality than the one in which I had been born and had lived for 25 years. The next 25 years of my life would be nothing like the first.
I would come to question my own sanity. Was what I knew to be real, actually real or an invention of a broken mind? Was I clinically insane? Was I creating a reality in my own head to satisfy the desire of the ego to make sense of things and create self-worth? Was I inventing the people who would aid me in my commission? Were they real? They seemed to be real to me then and are still real to me now. If they do not exist then I do not exist. But I do exist! And so do they, so it seems to me. The proof of their existence would be provided. The proof of my commission would be provided. Maybe not in an empirical, sense-oriented way, but through intelligence, through the presentation of real truth that no one else on earth could have ever created. But maybe, then, I was a true genius!
Four possibilities would constitute that June 16, 1987 experience: 1) Christopher went insane; 2) Christopher is a genius and concocted a plan with his intelligent mind to make himself into something special, something different than any other; 3) Lucifer deceived Christopher and made him the devil’s emissary to try the faith of the true Saints—the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; or 4) Everything that Christopher experienced and is experiencing is the real truth.
The person who takes an interest in my life and work has his or her free will to make his or her own decision of which possibility to accept. It has to be one of the above four possibilities. I suppose the reader’s own intelligence and judgment will create his or her own reality. This is how it should be. This is how it was meant to be. This is the order of all things experienced upon this earth. This is how it will always be upon this earth as we go through this mortal experience. Without choices we could not choose, causing free will to lose its efficacy in supporting us as human beings. Without choices we wouldn’t be human. We couldn’t be human. We would be relegated to a simple species of the plant and animal kingdoms, perpetuated by instinct and the course of a natural world. Humans don’t naturally fit into this world. We never have and we never will. We destroy this world as we exercise the choices of our free will to act upon the laws of nature. The plants and animals cannot destroy or control natural law because they do not possess free will to do so. They act and are acted upon according to the absence of free will, experiencing an existence from instinctual and adaptive processes that are void of the sense of joy. But humans exist so that humans can experience joy.
If I could provide empirical evidence, scientific conclusions, that my claims are true, then what would become of free will? But, on the other hand, if there is not empirical evidence, then free will cannot be exercised to act upon real truth because no choice would exist to cause the action. Empirical evidence would be provided appropriately according to the order of the laws that protect and perpetuate free will. It wouldn’t be evidence that I could create of myself (from a genius mind). It wouldn’t be evidence that was possible from an insane mind. It couldn’t be evidence that contradicted itself (the idea that it is from the devil when a devil doesn’t exist). The evidence had to be consistent with a human’s ability to utilize common sense, reason, and free will. In other words, it had to be evidence that could not be logically or scientifically challenged.
In 2004, The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon was published on the Internet. The sincere reader would find it to be consistent with the Book of Mormon. The 116 pages of handwritten manuscript that had been lost in Joseph Smith’s day would be retranslated and published. Acceptance of The Sealed Portion would change the intelligence of the reader and bring that person into a perception of reality from which there would be no escape. That person would no longer believe in anything taught and accepted by the LDS/Mormon Church. The power of The Sealed Portion would provide the empirical evidence necessary to satisfy free will, providing a choice to believe in it as one believes in the Book of Mormon.
Mormons believe that salvation must be earned; that the glory of being a God is earned while going through this mortal experience. Nothing could be further from the real truth! Joseph Smith, as referenced in his own words from the above quoted Mormon scriptures, tried to teach the opposite. Acceptance of The Sealed Portion would place a Mormon on the correct path that would lead one to the conclusions of real truth that support the idea that we are all equal Gods, and have been forever and will be forever. The concept of earning salvation by one’s works implies that one might fail. The Mormon people are plagued with guilt and self-castigation caused by not living up to (i.e., earning) the standards of a God. So believing, Mormons are very judgmental of others and set themselves up as the only humans who can achieve godhood, something reprehensible to the common sense of non-Mormon humans.
Nowhere on earth can a culture of people be found that consumes more anti-depressant prescription drugs (per capita) than among the people of the Mormon faith. Those who leave the LDS/Mormon faith demonstrate the conclusive empirical evidence of the power of The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon in the loss of guilt and oppression they experienced while members of the LDS Church. Once they are gone, they can never go back. Their common sense will not allow them to regress.
In 2012, the most comprehensive and researched bibliography of the life of the Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr. was published. The book was called, Without Disclosing My True Identity—The Authorized and Official Biography of the Mormon Prophet, Joseph Smith, Jr. Upon reading this book, no sincere seeker of truth could possibly stay faithful to the distorted history of the Mormon faith presented by the modern-day Mormon sects. No other biography ever written contains the facts of Smith’s life that finally answer the unanswered and confusing questions about him. The facts are presented in such a way as to finally present the real truth and what he could not disclose to the people of his day.
If Joseph Smith, Jr. had the opportunity to be interviewed today, what would he say about himself and his life? He never had that opportunity while alive. Because the real truth exists, which is things as they really happened, having a source from which this real truth can be obtained would be highly coveted. Upon reading the published biography, one first wonders, how can this be the “authorized and official” biography? Who authorized it? It would seem reasonable, and also offer empirical evidence of the right source, if Joseph himself authorized the writing of his own biography. The only way one will ever find out is if that one reads the book with a sincere heart and real intent to know if it is true. Upon completing the challenge, the reader’s understanding and perception of Joseph Smith, Jr. and the beginning of Mormonism will finally be consistent with their common sense—the ultimate source, the real truth that we each choose to accept for our individual reality.
I solved the mystery of the biblical book of Revelation. I solved the mystery of human existence. I have debunked the myths and lies perpetrated by religion, science and philosophy. The real truth that I have been commissioned to provide has never been properly challenged. My critics and enemies hiss, hidden under rocks of obscurity or behind the sheltered curtain of Internet blogs so that they don’t have to confront me in person. I am available to public scrutiny. Any can confront me and my claims and attempt to prove that who I am and what I do is not what it and I claim to be. But they will fail! The real truth will stand the test of time, because it is the real truth!
I will eventually publish all the books required of me. I will make myself available to the world through a constant presence on the Internet, both through a weekly Talk Show and my Daily Journal (blog). The players of the game will have no excuse to claim that someone was not available to tell them the real truth, when, and if, a player desires to look for it. I will eventually find all those who I was told back in 1987 would be prepared to help and support me in the role that I am to perform. Each came and each will come, entering my life perfectly timed to support the greatest mortal work ever commenced upon this earth. It is truly a Marvelous Work and a Wonder®!
In 2006, Ida Smith, the great, great grand niece of Joseph Smith, found and read The Sealed Portion. I’ve found no greater supporter of the MWAW than Ida. Her family is prominent in the Mormon Church. Her life is a testament to education, integrity and progressiveness. Her closest friends are highly regarded as stalwart contributors to society, each successful and adorned with worldly honors and praise. Two of her friends are current and former United States Senators, Orrin Hatch (R) and Robert Bennett (R), respectively. Many of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus Christ in the LDS Church are her relatives or friends.
Ida Smith challenged her friends to provide her with any evidence … anything worthy of consideration … to prove that I am not a chosen true messenger and that the Marvelous Work and a Wonder® is not what it claims to be. They tried, at first. Then they completely shunned her because they didn’t have a clue how to confront me.
One of the LDS Apostles, Jeffrey R. Holland, made a special call to Ida in an attempt to discredit me and convince her that she was being deceived. To protect her integrity, Ida recorded the conversation. Here’s a portion of the telephone conversation that took place at 10:50 a.m., June 12, 2007:
[In reference to me:]
Jeff Holland: I have to be very discreet, and very careful what I say …
Ida Smith: Sure.
Jeff: … in this office [referring to being an LDS Apostle].
Jeff: So I’ve got to have you in my confidence.
Jeff: You’re a friend that I say that.
Jeff: The guy is a Whacko. It’s just, it’s just that, he’s just not in touch with reality.
Ida: Uh huh.
Jeff: Ida. He was an employee here as security, sort of a parking lot security guard.
Ida: Uh huh…
Jeff: And he just sort of went off the deep end. Now I’m, I’m really, I’m not using very General Authority language
[The discussion between them is regarding the sealed portion.]
Ida: …when President Hinckley in ought five  asked everybody, “Read the Book of Mormon! Read the Book of Mormon!” And I just go over it [the Book of Mormon], when I get done with it, I start over again. And I have Skousen’s tapes [Cleon Skousen on the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon], which are fabulous! …
Ida: And, I just prayed every night, that we would get the sealed portion.
Ida: And I thought, “If everybody does this,
Jeff: Uh huh.
Ida: Maybe we’ll get it!
Jeff: Be wonderful! Yeah. Well, I’d like it (yeah) there’s nothing I’d be more excited about. But you’ve also got to know, Ida, that when that happens, it’s not going to happen to, its not going to come to somebody down at Joe’s Bar and Grill.
Well, Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, Jeffery R. Holland, I will tell you, not in “General Authority language,” but according to my commission as a true messenger:
I AM THE MAN FROM JOE’S BAR AND GRILL!