BRYAN JAY STONE-DALY'S PERSONAL STORY
By Bryan Jay Stone-Daly
It begins in 1954, October 9th, at about 4:45 pm. This was the day I was born and my first brush with death. When Dr. Wells Brockbank delivered me, he immediately handed me to my father, James Davis Stone (Jay Stone), now deceased, and he was told to start breathing for me. I was known as a "blue baby", a newborn that is not breathing on its own and starting to literally turn the color of blue. The first moments of my life started with my father saving my life, which is funny now as I was never told he was even in the delivery room by my mother; my father gave me this information just before he died.
I have some early childhood memories that date back to 2 ½ years of age, confirmed by my mother when I related the experiences I remembered to her. She was astounded I could remember one incident (climbing on a neighbor's garage roof with my parents present), and as I found out, not something a "baby" should normally remember. I have many of these vivid childhood memories and later discovered how "abnormal" it is to have such. But then who's judging?
At six years of age, my parents divorced and I was forced to go with my mother into a new marriage by the age of 8. This is when the courts forced the Daly part of my name into my life, as I have always carried my father's name as a part of my own; Bryan "Jay Stone"-Daly. I was born into the LDS religion due to ancestry and Mormonism continued into the new "family" as my stepfather was LDS also. My stepfather, Jay Daly, (ya, go figure, another "Jay") was an elementary school teacher. When I reached the 6th grade, I had him for my math teacher in what was known as a team teaching setup at the school.
During that year, there was one incident that stands out. I made my stepfather mad for not doing my math homework, and instead of dealing with it at home, he decided to "discipline" me in front of my classmates. Ya, that's right, he paddled me in from of the class, over his knee. The embarrassment hurt more than the "spanking" did. He and I have not gotten along well from that day to this.
I had a "fairly" normal childhood after that until about the age of 15 or 16 when I knew that I was different from others of my own age. Oh, I did the normal church involvement stuff that was expected of me until I reached that age. Two characteristics come to mind thinking back, I was highly spiritual (asking too many questions) and over sexualized (I blossomed early and was attracted to the wrong sex). I wanted to know about miracles and magic, how to walk on water, how to heal, how to fly (like an angel) and why there were no new scriptures since Joseph Smith. I also wanted to know why I was attracted (sometimes sexually) to other Aaronic priesthood boys. I struggled on with this "burden", not knowing what it was called, and eventually graduated high school and went to just over a year of college at Brigham Young University.
At 19, I went on a mission for the LDS church as a way of running away from myself, and did successfully complete that adventure. However, I left the mission field with no answers to my spiritual questions and was now forced to face something that I had no name for (I was still a virgin at 21). Four months after returning from the mission, I left the church in anger and have never returned.
The summer of 1976 was the worst period of my life that I have ever faced. After almost six months of fasting and prayer for the burden I now carried and wanted removed, I faced my own two and a half hour suicide attempt. I really felt like the "Scum of the Earth" and did not want this burden, but I had to stop fasting and praying for its removal as I had begun to damage my health. I now had a name for what I had to face, homosexuality. I guess my guardian angels won that night as I am still here to tell this story. This was the summer of my second brush with death.
Near the end of 1976 or early 1977, while I was dealing with leaving the church, coming out of the closet, and a suicide attempt, a work colleague noticed how troubled I was and introduced me to my first drug experience: marijuana. It gave me some relief from the issues I was dealing with, something of a saving grace at the time. The only problem is that I kept the habit around for 27 years, until I finally made a vow as a Buddhist to not take any more intoxicants in 2002. Since then I have been pretty much drug and alcohol free, except for a very rare glass of wine.
That was also the summer, 1976, that I found meditation as a way of calming the inner demons and anger at the Mormon Church. I began my search of answers at that time, beginning with a little known book about the nature of the universe called "The Urantia Book" (nothing simple here mind you). It speaks to the physical and spiritual makeup of the universe we live in. Then there was "The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East" which tells the story of some researchers around 1900, seeking these Masters in India, Tibet and China. The books just seemed to keep coming and a few worth mentioning are "A Course in Miracles", "Out on a Limb" by Shirley MacLaine, "The Aquarian Conspiracy" by Marilyn Ferguson, "Christ Consciousness" by Norman Paulsen, "Ye Are Gods" by Annalee Skarin, "Embraced By The Light" by Betty Eadie, "Saved By The Light" by Dannion Brinkley, and "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. Each kept leading me forward, guiding me from one answer to the next. I began to feel like the embodiment of the scripture from 2 Timothy 3:7 that says "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."
I still meditate daily and it has become my form of prayer. It also led me to become a Buddhist, following the teachings of the Dalai Lama (more answers), and not just the simple stuff, but the highest teachings known as Dzogchen. It seems I don't seek for something simple in my life. I took to these teachings as they spoke to the subject of enlightenment, which I could find in no other "religion". I seem to have known since a special event happened to me that there were different levels of spiritual development that one could reach for, if they were motivated enough to do so. However, I was still not able to deal with the "first" religious teachings that I received in my childhood as a Mormon.
Now I would like to share that special event in my life that only a few people have been informed about. Shortly after discovering meditation, I chose one day to contemplate what it would be like to spend some time with "God" and see the universe from his point of view. Well, you know the old adage "…seek and ye shall find," or watch what you ask for; well I got what I asked for. I was given a brief glimpse of the "other side" and until recently did not have words that gave justice to that experience. I felt a level of love and acceptance I had never known in this mortal life until that experience. I also saw places that I know were not part of this solar system. At the time I described the experience as having been in God's "backyard", being allowed to "play". (Childish I know, but that's how it felt.) I sensed a personage with me during this event, but I cannot honestly say that it was God or maybe my guardian angel or precisely who it was. But it was from this personage that I felt the love and acceptance I had not previously known.
I also knew I would never go back to the LDS religion because the only one that I could think of that might understand this experience was dead. Oddly enough, that person was Joseph Smith and I also somehow did not feel he would approve of the modern day Mormon Church. (I told you I was different.) I also came back with a "knowing", of being able to discern the truth of something, without having actual previous knowledge beforehand. (I consider this a true blessing.) This bothered me for a long time as I could see the lies and brainwashing that I had experienced. This is also where my anger with the LDS religion came from. This knowing is what sparked the "seeking for answers" that I have been involved in for some 35 years now. No one could tell me why a "loving" God could treat his creations the way I had been treated. Turns out He does not mistreat his children; his children treat each other this way.
During the 1980s, my family on the Stone side (my father) experienced a tragedy. My father's first child from his second marriage was a boy named Jeffrey Lynn Stone. Jeff was a nomad and after trying to be properly married for a short period of time, found himself in California (where our father was born) in 1982. Now this was back at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, and somehow in the midst of sexual exploration, Jeff caught the AIDS virus. By 1984, he knew that something was wrong with him and came back to Utah to deal with it. There were no drugs back then to treat the disease, so basically Jeff had a death sentence hanging over his head. He spent about 10 months of 1985 in Salt Lake City living with me before the sickness really started taking its toll. In 1986, he finally had to receive constant medical treatment, so his parents took him to Seattle, Washington, to one of the only AIDS hospices in the West at that time. In late November 1986, Jeff put himself on a bus and returned to Orem, Utah to his parents, basically to die at home. His mother could not deal with him and insisted that he be returned to the hospice, so our father drove him all the way back to Seattle. On January 8, 1987, Jeff was able to get his hands on a small pistol and committed suicide, believing he had been rejected by his parents. I was able to see the suicide note my father found that Jeff left behind and it was not pretty. He was found by someone in the hospice noticing blood coming out from under the door of Jeff's room into the hallway.
At this time I decided to become celibate so as to not endanger my future by getting this illness. And now, I can count on the fingers of one hand, that's less than 5, the times in 23 years that I have even gotten close enough to anyone to have sexual relations, of any kind. And then only one or two were serious enough to be considered "going all the way." I know God wants us to be social creatures, but I have kind of given up on a compatible, meaningful relationship; but I have not ruled it out either.
I spent most of the 1990s in business management until I became a computer support technician for NEC, then Gateway Computers. Yes, I am officially a "geek" with the certification to prove it. This period lasted for 12 years until things started to change; computers got smaller and smaller, and now we have smartphones. (I used to be able to build a computer from scratch, but not now.) In the first decade of the 2000s, while being a geek, I became really interested in the Mayan culture and their calendar. It spoke to the end of time (not the world), as we know it. So, in 2004, I began to read everything I could find on the subject and now have a pretty good understanding of what the Maya were trying to tell us.
So here I am in 2011, in my mid-50s, having studied ancient Egypt, the history of Tibet, and now the Mayan culture and their calendar (I like spiritual history; I See Dead Connections). Then I was recently reminded that we are in the time when the rest of the Book of Mormon (Mayan?) was supposed to be revealed, or the Sealed Portion. Much to my surprise, when you seek, you find. Through an off-hand article in a local Salt Lake City tabloid, I became aware that someone claimed to have translated the Sealed Portion and had presented it to the world. I thought, yeah right; who is kidding who here. I got curious where this would lead (you've heard it sometimes kills the cat), so I read the article and then visited the website on which you are now reading this story. I began reading the Sealed Portion online and then order my own copy.
About half way through my reading, I "knew" without a shadow of doubt, that this is real. This is the truth I have been waiting 35 years to find. I know of its truth as I have read the words that finally describe our spiritual existence before this life of which I was allowed to "see" a small portion. And I now have answers as to why I have always believed in reincarnation, why miracles are so hard for us to perform, why I cannot walk on water yet, and why only some are given healing abilities (I am a licensed massage therapist of 23+ years and Reiki Master). No other religion had these answers, until I read Christopher's translated works. And I know that it is true because it is the opposite of everything I have studied; it is simple and plain to understand. Now I can forgive "The Blind" for leading the blind. And now I am beginning to deal with my earliest spiritual teachings and make peace with them.
During my reading, I have developed a new-found respect for my spiritual brothers Moroni and John the Beloved. If I were allowed a wish, I would hope to live my life well enough to one day meet both of these spiritual brothers face to face. But I also know that there are a lot of questions I will have to wait on to receive the answers. My mind and spirit seem to always want to leap ahead and know many things before I am truly ready for them. I can't help it; I love a good mystery as Sherlock Holmes is one of my heroes. I also have a serious newfound respect for Joseph Smith, his life and the work he came here to do.
In conclusion, I want to give my word that this is the most honest presentation of my story that I have ever given, without showing all my "warts". Even some in my extended family have never been told much of what I have presented here. I offer it in hopes that it will be of help to someone in need as I once was.
Here are two of my favorite passages from The Sealed Portion — The Final Testament of Jesus Christ:
"And I know that because ye are reading these things, it is because ye have been wrought upon by the Holy Ghost and have been inspired to seek out the truth of all things pertaining to the kingdom of God.
"And now, I say unto you who receive these things with gladness: Behold, if ye have received these things with gladness, then in this gladness share these things with the rest of your brothers and sisters who have not received these things.
WHAT IS THE VOICE OF THE 'ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS' TELLING US? Ask Him Yourself!
© 2005 A Marvelous Work and a Wonder Purpose Trust