GEORGIA LADD'S PERSONAL STORY
Nov. 19, 2009
My name is Georgia. I am the daughter of the daughter of the daughter of the daughter of Emily Partridge Young, the second wife of Brigham Young, who I was told, originally got sealed to Joseph Smith before he died.
This is the legacy I was raised with. I was taught that I was a royal daughter, elite above the regular members of my church. My mother knew better, but the patriarch of our family emphasized it continuously.
Throughout my childhood we awoke very early (5 or 6 am) and had a mini meeting that we called “devotional”. It consisted of an opening prayer, a song, and scripture reading aloud, an occasional testimony, another song, and then a closing prayer. I was lucky to be a good reader and began reading the Book of Mormon before getting baptized at 8.
I was the oldest of 8 children. Despite my rigorously active church life, I remember very early, questioning many things about the church. My mother very wisely explained to me that the church had been given the lesser portion of the word, but for now it was where we ought to stay, waiting for more truth and light. These private conversations were kept exactly that, just between mom and me. For example, I never understood why women could not have the priesthood, or why Joseph Smith was allowed only to translate one third of the golden plates.
When I was 14, my mother died of breast cancer. I was devastated. I hated God. Mom lived the word of wisdom. This rule no longer made sense to me. I tried to go along and comply with the establishment, but I no longer cared. God had done this to me and I wanted no part of him. I then spent many years trying to understand why life is the way it is. Without my mother by my side I could no longer accept that women were created to serve their husbands and that entry into the celestial kingdom (the only acceptable heaven to a Mormon) was impossible without him.
My adolescent experimentation led me many “places” and I became aware of many “truths” other than what the LDS church accepted. One thing that my mother taught me always stayed clear however, the only rule that mattered was that I should do unto others what I would have done unto myself.
By my late 20’s, I was completely estranged by the church and swore not to bare children into this world of hell. I had had many heartbreaking experiences and I was very unhappy, so much so that I had no more desire to live.
Searching for a reason to live, I remembered that my mother had been happy, and that motherhood was what made her that way. I decided out of pure selfishness to have a child. And I was living with a man who agreed to make that happen.
I found fulfillment in a role that seemed so familiar and right. I started to have a desire to change many things in my life to be a better parent to my child. Something finally mattered to me.
Mormon missionaries found my child’s father and he was converted. He wanted to be baptized and I was still against the church. In order for him to join up, he had to discontinue “living in sin” with his daughter and I.
While sitting in on the missionary lessons, the words of my mother came to my mind. “It was ok to stay around the church until the complete and greater portion of truth was revealed to the Earth”. I agreed to marry him.
I followed my husband to church and was soon lulled into mass hypnosis, like that of those who find comfort in obedience to the laws of man disguised as the commandments of God. A new excitement grew and I desired to know what the really good mormons knew, those things taught only in the temple.
I struggled to meet their standards and obtain worthiness to enter into the sacred home of God. Certainly there, the answers to the meaning of life must lie.
After at least a year and a half, I had trained myself to jump through the hoops required. The day I received my endowments and sealed our marriage was a happy one, not because I understood anything that happened in there, but because I felt the reassurance of the flesh, the approval of friends and family.
Now if I could only figure out what the heck that endowment meant. We weren’t allowed to talk about it outside the temple. I tried a few times, but was met with a “shhhh” and of course no one knew anymore than I did.
I studied that Book of Mormon over and over. I knew if I would just get perfect enough and be totally righteous and spiritual, the answers would be revealed to me. I was obsessed. I was especially drawn to the mysteries of God and wanted the greater part. Whenever I asked anything pertaining to the “mysteries” I was advised that I was not meant to know those things, and it would be better if I left it alone. I prayed day and night to the air. “Please God, tell me why I am here.”
Lack of answers and unfulfilled spiritual expectations led me to rebel again. This time I found myself with the bishop and a hearing. Having been taught that confession to a bishop is the only way to forgiveness, I certainly didn’t want to ruin my chances for the celestial kingdom. (Plus the guilt was unbearable).
What I didn’t expect was that in my state of broken heartedness and a desire to repent, I would have the very spiritual tools and habits that had brought me to this humble place, taken from me. I also got to see my husband hurt and humiliated in front of his peers.
I was definitely beginning (again) to have issues with the way things were done in the church. What made “them” better than I, such that those men had authority and power over me?
I demanded that God explain what was going on. I cried and cried. I just couldn’t accept that God would leave me in the hands of such ignorance. And I was sure Christ would not have handled my request for help the way the church did.
It was in this state of mind that I began a habit of cruising the web- looking for answers- looking for the Real God and His Son, the Christ. I was searching for people claiming to know Christ, when I found mention of the Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon. I searched for it and first found the fake one. A bit of reading and I knew that wasn’t right. But it got me thinking about the talks I had had with my mother about how the Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon would be translated as a sign that the work of the Father had begun. As I looked again, I found the real Sealed Portion.
I had a new baby, and a demanding home life, so I spent the nights (sometimes all night), reading. I could not believe what I had found. As I read, I began to find the answers I had looked for my entire life. Indeed my “prayers” had been answered. I felt like almost everything I was reading was a truth I had always known.
There were certain things that because of my indoctrination from birth, I had to let the Holy Ghost explain. But eventually I knew it was all true.
I was overjoyed! I wanted to shout my news from the housetops. Every individual that I thought was like myself, and that I thought would be happy to receive the book, was not. In fact, not one single friend or family member that I knew accepted it.
I have come to lose everyone. I now know my attempts to enlighten them were not righteous desires. To proselyte was a concept that I had to release for my own happiness. It was not commanded of me to do so; the Father would do his own work.
My life did not change overnight. As I write this, it has been 4 years since my discovery. As I learn to live the only law that counts, “Do unto others, only that which I would want done to myself,” my peace and happiness increases proportionately.
I have no doubt that the Sealed Portion and its accompanying related works are exactly what they claim to be. The Worldwide United Foundation contains the only plan that would save this planet.
Have no fear; the Father has planned for our many failures. These things are for our eternal benefit and salvation.
WHAT IS THE VOICE OF THE 'ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS' TELLING US? Ask Him Yourself!
© 2005 A Marvelous Work and a Wonder Purpose Trust