JASON BROCKMAN'S PERSONAL STORY

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MY STORY SO FAR...

By Jason Brockman

I thought it wise to include parts of my childhood and early adult life to help one understand the path I had taken to come to find the truth in the Marvelous Work and Wonder and the World Wide foundation in the summer of 2006. I hope to all who take the time to read this will find it in their heart to open up their view point and really look at finding out the truth and validity of this work.

In my early childhood from the time that I could remember my mother would take me to various church's as she looked to find a good fit for her and her son. My father had left when I was the age of 2years old and thus left my mother and I were on our own. Around the age of 6yrs old I vividly remember going to a church that was teaching a doctrine of hell fire and damnation. The images they displayed on the screen were of a half-man half-horned goat that was to portray the devil with the pentagram in the back and blood spilling down the screen. It scared the living bejesus out of me and I remember hiding under the church pews as the minister spouted the importance of being saved and coming unto Christ. Daily I lived in fear as I would walk to school alone and find my thoughts thinking that World War III was just around the mountain and that the end of the world was coming. I was under the impression that we were living in the last days and that the second coming was to precede the war. When I was 8yrs old my mother found a nice man that was a latter-day saint or a Mormon more commonly known by the world. After a short three month courtship my mother and new stepfather were married. My mom wanted a strong Christian fellow and she got one! About a year after their marriage I was introduced to the Mormon missionaries and they taught me the basic gospel principles and importance of being baptized. Before I was baptized for the remission of my sins at the age of 9 I remember speaking with my granny who raised me for 3yrs of my life when I was younger. I told her I was not sure about wanting to be baptized and did not know if I wanted to go through with it. She stated that I should be baptized and when I got older and I wanted to change my mind I could, but to just follow along with it for the time being. I agreed and was baptized. Later that year a lot of my fears of heaven and hell and the end times were put to ease as the Sunday school teacher taught the plan of salvation. I had a lot of questions on the spirit world/the three kingdoms of heaven and what it would take to make it to the highest degree of glory to live with God. From the age of 9 to 17 I lived in a good LDS home, for the most part we held family prayer and scripture reading every day and attended church on Sundays. I missed a lot of Sunday church services and early morning seminary as I had my sight set on being an Olympic swimmer and that took a lot of time and dedication in the pool for one to achieve. I read the book of Mormon a couple of times during my teenage years and I believed it to be true as well as Joseph Smith's first vision and had gained a testimony of those two facts. However I always had a problem with the fact people would state that the LDS church was the only true church on the face of the earth. In short I jumped through the hoops and did not make any waves as I had a small testimony of the LDS church. I just wanted to know my father in heaven/ understand how to listen or communicate better with the Holy Ghost. I constantly felt unworthy of passing the sacrament or taking it as I had a challenge with not being able to touch myself, and that was frowned upon. I hated the day when I finally decided to confess to my bishop and he forced me to tell my step dad. Yikes! What an embarrassment I tell ya. When I was 18yrs old I started becoming less active in the LDS church. That all changed when I was having a difficult time in my life and felt directionless as I felt discouraged that I was not reaching my goals in competitive swimming, which meant everything to me at that time in my life. An attractive girl invited me to come back to church and to go to an institute of religion class called: feasting on the words of Christ. I accepted and went to the institute class. The discussion was on the second coming and the New Jerusalem to be built. The institute teacher spoke of how angels would be walking the streets as the saints came from all around the world to live in the New Jerusalem. How fireballs would come from the sky to protect the righteous as they made their way to the Zion. I felt the spirit in that class and as I came out and made my walk over to swim practice I remember saying to myself in my mind that I wanted to come back to the fold. Immediately after I had said that I felt a surge of energy run through my body that I had never felt before. I was filled with such immense feelings of joy and happiness that I started laughing out loud and crying at the same time. This lasted for a period of 6 hours and I felt that I must have had my baptism by fire as mentioned in the scriptures. Later that evening I contemplated on how I could best share this feeling of love and joy with my fellow brothers and sisters of the world. I came to the conclusion it was to best to either continue training in hopes of making it to the Olympics in swimming and leading by example or serving a mission for the LDS church. Something I had never really thought much about before, due to always wanting to go to the Olympics. I decided to serve a mission and dropped by dream of swimming in the Olympics the very next day. To say the least my coach was very pissed off and my parents very happy. I didn't care, I just wanted to share my own personal testimony of how I felt this love from something outside of me that overwhelmed my body and let me know that there was a God and that he knew me and loved me as it is taught in the LDS faith. I was called to serve a 2 year mission for the LDS church in Salt Lake City from 1999-2001. I was very disappointed by this at first as it was LDS headquarters and my thought was "what would I do there?" However once down in SLC city I was fine and loved the opportunity to go to the temple once a week. My favorite part was the sealing and initiatory promises given before the temple procession. However I found it odd that whenever I would ask deeper questions into the temple session and what was being represented or taught by one working in the temple. I was always told to pray on the matter and that it would come to me. So I spent a lot of time in the Celestial room praying and meditating and nothing came to me. I must not of been worthy to receive personal direction from the Holy Ghost at that time in my life was my reasoning. When I heard of the doctrine of having one's calling and election made sure or the second endowment I read everything I could on the matter as I wanted to have this happen within my lifetime. I wanted to see Christ as well and have my own special witness that he lived as the apostles had. I also grew afraid that I would never make it to the celestial kingdom for one reason or another. Two more times during my mission I had very special moments where I felt like I was communicating with or hearing the whisperings of the holy spirit and knew that my father in heaven knew me and loved me and was pleased with my work. Once when I awoke late at night and felt like I was not alone but had something or someone from the other side communicating with me and the other time when I was in personal prayer. I also had times when I wanted to leave my mission as I felt like I really was not progressing the work any walking up and down the streets of Salt Lake City being honked at by cars passing by giving their support for the missionaries. It was more like I was a mini-celebrity than a humble servant of the Lord. I finished my mission with honors and went back home to Calgary, Canada and tried to follow the direction of the twelve apostles and Stephen R Covey to get a secondary education and prepare to have a family. Both things I found a struggle as I always worried about what I was going to do to support a family financially (to the point of mental breakdowns) and I dated a lot but never was able to find a girlfriend in which I wanted to marry or one that wanted to marry me. To be honest since coming in contact with the MWAW I have realized that my happiness within did not come from needing or wanting to have a family or children of my own. Phew! That in itself was a great stress reliever. Approximately 4yrs after returning home from my mission I had not accomplished much within my life. I dropped out of secondary school due to not knowing what I wanted to be or had the money to pursue knowing what I wanted to be while in school. I went from job to job and even spent a time trying to figure out how to become financially independent so that I would not have to worry about getting a career. I dated a lot but nothing ever amounted to anything as I had some emotional baggage from my youth that held me back from becoming too attached when one becomes too vulnerable. I continued to go to church, pray and read the scriptures diligently on a daily basis. I loved to pray! That was one of the hardest parts for me to give up once I accepted this work to be true. So there I was a 25year old single adult who was close to becoming a menace to society as Brigham Young stated in his thoughts of what happens when a young man reaches the age of 26 and is still not married, he could wander into mischief etc. During the summer of 2006 I decided to go down to San Diego, California to work for a security company selling/marketing systems door to door. By this time I had grown questionable with the LDS church and the truth of its message and again with its claim on being the only true church upon the face of the earth. I was still reading my scriptures and even found a book I turned to for a source of strength and comfort besides the Book of Mormon- "Following the light of Christ into his presence" it spoke of what one must do to receive their calling and election made sure in this life. I grew bored of going to church and hearing the same ol'message over and over again and nothing new being revealed. I knew something was missing and I was open to search for it within my own personal prayers and experiences in life. About a month before I left from Calgary, Alberta Canada to go down to San Diego, California I found myself in a long prayer session where about an hour into my prayer I just started to break down and cry and plead with God for direction and answers and peace within my life as I just was not able to get my shit bricks in a row to make a golden road down this path that I had seen laid before me by those within the LDS church that I had looked up to. Why was I feeling so disenchanted with my view point of the LDS church? I asked for help and waited patiently… Two months into working down in San Diego California I was on my way to the temple in San Diego. A magnificent looking structure by any standards, very expensive and rich looking and I questioned this and what we were really portraying to the world, as well as other things. As I walked into the doors of the temple and went to go show my temple recommend I just could not go in and participate. I could not do it, I don't know why! I must have been burnt out and needed a break. I sat there and waited while my friends went through. I was discouraged to say the least. The next week I found myself within an eating establishment called "Souper Salad", I walked by a lady that was sitting by herself reading the bible but it was in a quad. So I stopped and asked if she was LDS? She stated no she was not but at one time was and that she was just reading the words of the savior in Matthew. I stated that I too was LDS but that I was disenchanted with it at that time in my life and was keeping an open mind. Her eyes lit up and she asked me if I had ever heard of the Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon? I affirmed that I had and then she stated that it had been translated and that I should take a look. I was immediately intrigued as she wrote down the website and told me to look at it with an open mind. Sheri gave me her e-mail address and told me to write her if I wanted to, she was very nice and I appreciated her smile and willingness to share, the women in whom I am referring to is none other than Sheri Anne Nemelka. I went back to my condo in Del-mar, San Diego and began to read the Sealed Portion. I was floored by what I read in the lost manuscript of the Book of Mormon and the first couple of chapters of the Sealed Portion. I felt and knew that this was the truth. I arranged a meeting with Christopher and was met with kindness and had a good talk with him and Sheri. I continued to read the sealed portion while I was in San Diego for the next month and it was all that I could think about when knocking on doors during the day. I truly was eating meat and made the decision to leave the LDS church. I met with Christopher one more time before I left back to Canada and I remember the last words he said to me before he dropped me off was "to do unto others as I would have done unto myself". I went home and shared what I had learned with my fiancé at the time. She was not interested and thought I was going apostate, so did a lot of my friends and former companions on my mission. My girlfriend and I broke off our engagement. I also shared with my mother on her death bed that I had found the truth and was no longer participating as a LDS member. She had a feeling that something had happened to me while I was in California and was happy for me. I did not tell my stepfather due to the circumstances with my mother dying. I opened my eyes to the world and started being selfish and experimenting with things I had never done before. Sex, marijuana, alcohol and going to clubs. This did not last long as I did not find my happiness within these activities. However it did take a while to give up smoking dope. I enjoyed myself and felt free and happy without having feelings of guilt. The hardest thing for me to give up was prayer. I left my garments on for months after leaving the church for some reason and even after I took them off I always wore a shirt to bed. I continued reading the sealed portion and communicating with Sheri via- e-mail as I had a lot of questions. I found myself lost as I had completely turned my life upside down and left living a pretty regimented routine within Mormon culture. About six months after returning to Calgary, Canada I went down to Salt Lake City to hear Christopher speak at a symposium. I loved what I was learning and had a chance to meet others that believed in the WWUF and MWAW. I have read all of the books written by Christopher as well and the book Human Reality Who We are and Why We Exist. Over the course of a year after finding this work and leaving the LDS way of life I had a hard time changing my way of thinking and living, but I trusted and believed and still believe this to be the truth. I gave up everything I knew and found everything that I was looking for in the process. Six years later I am at more peace within my life and feel I have a better ability to listen to my essence. Over those six years I have been on the side lines and did not participate as much as I could of however I have decided to take a stand and let my light shine and to lay it all on the alter as is necessary to do my part in trying to live the golden rule. I wish I was able to attend more symposiums and have more fellowship with those that believe in this work, but that is not to be at this time in my life. Thus I will continue to do my best and live my life the best that I can to stand as a witness to one who believes and tries to follows this work to the best of his ability. As I have stated before. This work has brought me more peace and opened up my eyes and allowed me to shed the skin of doctrine and beliefs of religion and ways of the world. I believe in the principles and teachings of the World Wide United Foundation and Marvelous Work and Wonder and will continue to do my best to live by it one day at a time as I discover and live to be happy and help others to find their own happiness.

Jason