Is Christopher an angry man or a “bitter” man?

sweetandbitterblog123

We disagree that Christopher, our True Messenger, is an angry and bitter man.

The few who personally know him and interact with him on a regular basis, as well as his children who associate with him and the grandchildren who adore him, would agree with us.

Christopher’s seemingly angry and bitter disposition is profoundly explained in one of his recent Daily Journal posts:


(Excerpt from Christopher’s Daily Journal.  ***WARNING*** some profanity.)

Reading my personal Daily Journal one might suppose that I am an angry and bitter man and that I despise my role as the MWAW True Messenger and THumP®’s spokesperson; that I treat others with disrespect and disdain, rebuking any who do not agree with me; that I alienate partners, family, friends, and others because they do not agree with me or support what I am doing, especially how I do it.  Yet, if an honest person researched my past, they would find that it has always been my own choice (not the other’s) to end our relationship.

In the case of the women in my life (except for one), each and every time I made the decision to end the relationship because it did not support my free will to act and be acted upon how I expected to act or have one act upon me, the woman became bitter.  Most turned into some of my most critical enemies.  But again, only after I left them!

If it was so hard to live with me because I am such an angry and bitter man, why didn’t any of them want to leave me while they were with me?  The only one that did was Paula Blades, my first wife, because I was a staunch LDS/Mormon.  But after my enlightenment, none left me of their own accord until I left them first.

Why, when I refused to continue a relationship with them, did most turn on me and begin to find fault with me and what I do?

The fact is, if I were a typical mortal woman seeking for the love and devotion of a man, I wouldn’t have anything to do with me.  I would dump my ass faster than a water molecule’s hydrogen dumps the oxygen when exposed to heat.  (Hey, I like that analogy … but anyways.)

Since June 16, 1987, I have been incapable of giving a mortal woman what she desires and what she needs and expects to receive from a relationship with a good man.  Since that day, my life has been about me and no one else …

Well, being a father was very important and continued to be of value and of considerable worth to me after that day.  I loved being a father, but only as far as the mother of my children allowed me to do it “my way.”  For this very reason, the three women with whom I sired children used any means possible to keep our children from me once I stopped a relationship with the mother.  These women knew that I made little effort to give value to the man-woman relationship, but loved being a father.  To hurt me, like I hurt them, they denied me access to my children.

Everything in my past involving the law and courts had to do with the mothers of my children denying me access to my kids.  It was the only way that these scorned women could hurt me.  And hurt me they did.  But they can no longer hurt me.

When I first met my last wife, Sheri Huffor Salcedo, and learned who she was as an “angel” (advanced human), I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.

From the beginning of our relationship, I told Sheri that my life was about “me” and what I do; that it would never be about her or about “us.”  I was completely transparent and upfront.

In spite of the transparency, Sheri used her free will to accept the role and enter my life and allow her free will to be controlled by mine for many years.

It was all about “me.”

This lasted for over a decade, but with considerable problems in the marriage.

Sheri is an extremely jealous mortal woman, something I knew of and considered before I married her, but allowed because I believed that her true Self would maintain control of her Lucifer.  However, her Lucifer was basically “cast out” by me.  By the end of our relationship, there was a constant battle between Sheri’s Lucifer and the “power” and “truth” which is in me, “that which is in God.”

I love the following part of the Bros’ book where the character, Lehi, is admonishing his rebellious sons to listen to his other son, Nephi, the character that represents a True Messenger:

“And ye have murmured because he hath been plain unto you.  Ye say that he hath used sharpness; ye say that he hath been angry with you; but behold, his sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in him; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in God, which he could not restrain, manifesting boldly concerning your iniquities.

And it must needs be that the power of God must be with him, even unto his commanding you that ye must obey.  But behold, it was not he, but it was the Spirit of the Lord which was in him, which opened his mouth to utterance that he could not shut it.”  (BOM, 2 Nephi 1:26-27)

When Sheri would stand up for herself and fight for self-worth, value, and acknowledgment, I would remind her that our relationship, and everything about our life together, was “all about me”; that her desires and her life didn’t matter.  I continually impressed upon her mind the fact that I had told her this fact from the beginning.

Sheri would murmur because I was “plain unto her.”  She said that I used sharpness; she said that I was angry with her; but behold, my sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the Real Truth, which was in me and had been in me since June 16, 1987; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in both of our True Selves, which I could not restrain, manifesting boldly concerning her iniquities.  And it must needs be that the power of our True Selves must be with me, even unto my commanding Sheri that she must obey.  But behold, it was not me, but it was the Spirit of my True Self, of Sheri’s True Self, which was in me, which opened my mouth to utterance that I could not shut it.

Yeah, I felt very sorry for Sheri.  I loved her dearly for making it over ten years.  I continually told her throughout our relationship that if she could make it past ten years with me, not only would she set a record for the longest time I’ve spent with a person, but things might get better.  They didn’t.

Finally, I encouraged Sheri to leave me in Utah and go back to Southern California (where she was raised) and make a decision of whether she was going to continue to support “me” and the actualization of the Marvelous Work and a Wonder®, or pursue her own self-actualization.

Yep, I was telling Sheri to stop fulfilling the purpose for which a mortal exists.

WTF?

Our relationship finally ended when Sheri realized that she could not live life making everything about another person; that she had to … do what?  Yeah, she had to stay on the “strait and narrow path” to self-actualization, following the path to her own self-discovery, not to Christopher’s actualization.

What is my actualization?

Do I get to pursue my own personal reality (the meaning of “actualization”)?  Ef no!  My life is about the MWAW.

When I volunteered my services in April of 1991, and again in November of 2003, upon being asked, I knew that my life was over.  My path to the “Tree of Life” had ended.  Why?  Because I didn’t need to take any path towards any tree.  I didn’t need to “eat the fruit which was most desirable above all other” to know what it tasted like.  I knew, not only what the “fruit” was, but what it tasted like from the very moment of my enlightenment on June 16, 1987.

I didn’t need to self-actualize.

I knew that I was an advanced human of the greatest significance and value in the universe … But guess what, critics?  I also knew that every other person upon Earth was also just as great, just as significant, and just as valuable as me.

From that moment, I was no longer blinded by the “mists of darkness” (of which the Bros have recently asked to share their knowledge on the MWAW official site) that make people lose their way on the path to self-actualization.  One of the “mists of the devil” that was left out … well, wasn’t plainly presented and considered, although indirectly mentioned … is personal relationships where one is forced to submit one’s free will to another’s, or at least make it a 50/50 deal … you give and I take, I take and you give.

50/50 made no sense to me after June 16, 1987.  Why the ef would I give up the very purpose for which I knew my particular mortal experience was occurring: as a direct result of what my advanced brain required to balance itself?  It was impossible for me to give 50% of my Self to a woman so that she felt valued.

My wife at the time of this enlightenment was Jackie Stoll, n.k.a. Howard.  Although she’s one of my bitter enemies, if she were honest, she would testify to the fact that I came home from work that day with a completely different attitude about life and about what she and I were going to do.  I told her that I was going to eventually quit working for the Church, we were going to shed all fashionable clothes and live like the migrant workers which were here in America doing what they had to do to survive.  I threw away all her music … Jackie loved Bruce Springsteen … because I didn’t want to listen to it any longer.

Later in life, Jackie would comment that she had second thoughts at that time, and considered leaving me.  She didn’t.  Jackie followed me wherever I wanted to go.  From Jackson County, Missouri, near Bismarck, North Dakota, all over Oregon, Washington, Montana, Idaho, and Utah, Jackie followed me and never wavered in her desire to stay with me.

Even when my LDS/Mormon Bishop of a father lied and tried to have the Sheriff arrest me in Snohomish, Washington …

In fact, check this shit out.*

Below is the actual Sheriff’s Report from when my LDS/Mormon Bishop father tried to have me arrested.  I was working in Snohomish at a Farm Store that the owner had entrusted to me and Jackie.  Sheriff deputies suddenly entered the front door with their guns drawn and commanded me to put my hands in the air … right in front of customers … who quickly got the hell out of there.

My own LDS/Mormon Bishop father lied out his ass in an attempt to get me arrested … just like Echthros did during the Idaho court case trying to get me put in jail by his Idaho Judge … well, we fucked you, Echthros, didn’t we … we ain’t allowing your judge to put me in jail or have any power over me, you lying fuck! … But anyways …

I write “LDS/Mormon Bishop father” because it needs to be known what kind of human mortal the LDS/Mormon religion allows to be leaders of their faith.  My father not only did the above, but he did many other things to me throughout my life of which he felt spiritually justified because he follows the inspiration of the LDS/Mormon god … which is Lucifer … but shhhhhhh … he doesn’t know that.

Really now … what kind of father would do this to his son?  Only an LDS/Mormon Bishop type.

I have forgiven my father of all of the stupid shit that he’s done to me over the years, although he has never once apologized for what he has done.  He believed he was following the promptings of the Holy Ghost … yeah, really!

But anyways …

When Jackie was afforded every opportunity to leave me, supported by her family and mine … she chose to stay loyal to me.  I knew all there was about childbirth in the world, so I delivered three of our children at home without medical assistance … you can imagine how much Jackie hates me now for this … but I didn’t force her, she chose every action that she took.

Jackie even shared me and played in polygamy when I wanted to help a couple of polygamous women leave that cult.

The Real Truth is, Jackie Stoll Howard is a phenomenal human being.  If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have lasted a year with me.

All of the women in my past were phenomenal human beings, simply looking to understand who they are and why they exist and be valued for it.

Yes, it was I who ultimately chose to do my thing instead of staying with Jackie.  But when Jackie finally realized that I was going to do my thing in spite of our relationship, and that I valued me and what I wanted to do over “us,”  Jackie turned into one of my most bitter enemies and began to deny me access to our children.

Jackie started to do what Jackie wanted to do … exactly like a mortal person is supposed to do.

I remember Jackie and I having a discussion about our relationship.  She told me that she wanted a 50/50, give-and-take relationship.  I told her that I didn’t want this, that I wanted my life to be all about me, as it had been since that fateful day in June of 1987.  Jackie wanted one thing and I wanted another.  Who was right?  Who was wrong?

So we came to an impasse in our relationship.  Although Jackie had given me about 13 years of her life … about the same time that Sheri did … and made her life all about mine, she could no longer do it.

She made the right choice.

Sheri made the right choice.

And I pity any woman who would make an attempt to be my partner.  However, if there be one whose own life is about what my life is about, it might work.

My life is all about the “great things, yea, even too great for man,” (See BOM, 2 Nephi 4:25) which I have known since June of 1987.  My life is about the MWAW.  This work is the only value I place upon my life.  It is the only reason why I continue to exist as a mortal.

So what is it … this Marvelous Work and a Wonder®?

It is not the “Tree of Life.”  The MWAW is the “rod of iron.”

This tree is a representation of the true value (love) that a person places on his or her mortal Self according to the “fruit” of the tree that the person eats.

This “fruit” is the Real Truth about all things, “according to [the truth] which is in God.”

It is not the truth in which mortals believe … and it is certainly not the truth in which my LDS/Mormon Bishop father believes.  The Real Truth would never permit a father to do to his son what my father justified in his heart to do to me.

And it came to pass … love it! ….that those who established and oversee this great and marvelous work approached me and asked me to be their messenger.  They convinced me that the world needed to be given another chance at surviving … humanity … another chance at “redeeming” itself from “the fall” and from humanity’s inevitable demise.

They convinced me to use the “power of God of the word of God, which was in [me since 1987]; and that which [others] call anger” to help them reveal “the great and marvelous things which have been hid up from the foundation of the world.”  (See BOM, Ether 4:15.)

They convinced me to be the messenger who “unfolds” the “revelations which [God] caused to be written by John,” known as the book of Revelation, which no other man upon Earth could unfold except he that had the truth in him, “according to that which is in God.”

They convinced me to be “God’s only True Messenger” as they have presented the allegory throughout their writings.

But in spite of all the incredible things that they have revealed and unfolded through me, it has all been mostly rejected, especially by the LDS/Mormon Bishop father types of this world.

AND YOU FUCKING MURMUR AND CALL ME ANGRY!

READ WHAT THEY WROTE:

“And ye have murmured because he hath been plain unto you. Ye say that he hath used sharpness; ye say that he hath been angry with you; but behold, his sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in him; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in God, which he could not restrain, manifesting boldly concerning your iniquities.

And it must needs be that the power of God must be with him, even unto his commanding you that ye must obey. But behold, it was not he, but it was the Spirit of the Lord which was in him, which opened his mouth to utterance that he could not shut it.”  (BOM2 Nephi 1:26-27)

I’ve been constrained to speak to you … to the world … according to the truth.  Not according to the world’s truth, which includes every religious doctrine and truth that exists upon Earth, but “according to that which is in God.”

Do you fucking know what “constrained” means?

It means: compelled or forced towards a particular course of action.

What is the course of action in my life?  What am I constrained to do?  Who is compelling me and forcing me to be involved in the MWAW?

If you understood the real meaning behind the allegoric representations of Elohim and Jehovah, you would understand from whom I receive my instructions and who compels me to do what I do.  It’s a constant battle against the temptations of Lucifer, but “the work of the Father” has always won.

I’ll let the Bros explain it more perfectly and eloquently than I ever could … and without profanity … why I appear so angry, when in reality, I sorrow because of the wretchedness of my own soul, because of what I am constrained to do … because it is so plain, so good, so incredible, but it is mostly rejected and denied.  It is what has confounded my enemies … even causing Echthros to “quake before me” … Yeah, literally!

Why wretched?

Because I am not allowed to actually (allegorically) partake of the fruit of the Tree of Life and enjoy its special taste and its “whiteness that exceeds any whiteness” upon Earth.  I am not allowed to “eat” and “taste.”  The “taste” of the fruit was put in my head, therefore, taking away the pleasure of consuming it and tasting it in my mouth.

How wretched would your life be if you saw a person eating and enjoying something that you can’t eat?

I’d love to taste the fruit!

But again … alas … “angels came down and ministered unto me.  And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains.  And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them” (BOM, 2 Nephi 4:24-25) until I was finally allowed to start on June 16, 2012, exactly 25 years from the very day that the “taste” was put in my head.

Yes, as a True Messenger,

… upon eating this “roll”** which I have been given … not a fucking roll, like a biscuit and dinner roll, but a “roll” of instructions and requirements, i.e. constraints.  Yeah, it “was in my mouth honey for sweetness.”  But in my belly it was bitter as fuck!

Oh, you don’t like my profanity, do you?  Okay, I’ll use your own scriptures.  I’ll write it like scripture so that you fucks might consider it.  I actually understand your scriptures, why they were written “for the learning and profit” of humanity.  You do not!

“For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.

Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.”  (BOM, 2 Nephi 4:15-16)

Moreover the Bros said unto me,

“One like unto the Son of man, eat that thou findest; eat this **roll, and go speak unto the LDS/Mormon people.

So I opened my mouth, and they caused me to eat that roll.

And they said unto me,

“One like unto the Son of man, cause thy belly to eat, and fill thy bowels with this roll that we give thee.”

Then did I eat it; and it was in my mouth as honey for sweetness, (Compare Ezekial 3:1-3) but in my belly it became bitter.

And the voice which I heard from heaven spake unto me again, and said, Go and take the little book which is open in the hand of the Bros who are like the angels of God which standeth upon the sea and upon the earth.

And I went unto the Bros, and said unto them,

“Give me the little book.”

And they said unto me,

“Take it, and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey.

And I took the little book out of the Bros’ hands, and ate it up; and it was in my mouth sweet as honey: and as soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter.

And they said unto me,

“Thou must prophesy before many peoples, and nations, and tongues, and kings.”  (Compare Revelation 10:8-11)

And they said unto me,

“One like unto the Son of man, go, get thee unto the LDS/Mormon people, and speak with my words unto them.  For thou art not sent to a people of a strange speech and of an hard language, but to the LDS/Mormon people with whom you share the same language since your youth;  Not to many people of a strange speech and of an hard language, whose words thou canst not understand.  Surely, had we sent thee to them, they would have hearkened unto thee.

“But the LDS/Mormon people will not hearken unto thee; for they will not hearken unto us: for all of the members and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are impudent and hardhearted.  Even from the head to the foot there is no soundness in it.

“Behold, we have made thy face strong against their faces, and thy forehead strong against their foreheads.  As an adamant harder than flint have we made thy forehead: fear them not, neither be dismayed at their looks, though they be a rebellious house.”

Moreover they said unto me,

“One like unto the Son of man, all our words that we shall speak unto thee receive in thine heart, and hear with thine ears until the time that we allow you to give our words unto them.  All of our words, thou shalt publish in books so that they might see our words.

“And go, get thee to them of the captivity, unto the children of thy people, and speak unto them, and tell them, Thus saith the Lord God; whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear.”

Then the spirit took me up, and I heard behind me a voice of a great rushing, saying,

“Blessed be the glory of the Lord from his place.”

I heard also the noise of the wings of the living creatures that touched one another, and the noise of the wheels over against them, and a noise of a great rushing.  (For the few with eyes that see and ears that hear.)

So the spirit lifted me up, and took me away, and I went in bitterness, in the heat of my spirit; but the hand of the Lord was strong upon me.

What shall I say?  (Compare Ezekial 3:4-14)

The Bros hath both spoken unto me, and they themselves hath done it.

I shall go softly all my years in the bitterness of my soul.

O Lord, by these things other men are allowed to live, and in all these things is the life of my spirit: so wilt thou recover me, and make me to live as other men?

Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.  (Compare Isaiah 38:15-17)

(End of using scripture prose to describe my feelings.)

I’ll finish my thoughts today with the Bros’ words as they wrote them for Joseph Smith, Jr., as Joseph transcribed their words to be published as the Book of Mormon.

At a point where Joseph thought he couldn’t go on “eating” the “roll” given to him, because it was causing so much bitterness in his life, the Bros wrote the following especially for him … especially for me:


 2 Nephi, chapter 4:

14 For I, Nephi, was constrained to speak unto them, according to his word; for I had spoken many things unto them, and also my father, before his death; many of which sayings are written upon mine other plates; for a more history part are written upon mine other plates.

15 And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.

16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God.  Amen.


Now, you be the judge.

Am I an angry man or a bitter man?

But anyways …

Sigh … 😦

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