This is Christopher.
I’ve been battling my mentors the last couple of days about their desire for me to no longer use profanity in my writings and other things* that have conflicted me lately. Usually, I win. They are my servants and have catered to me, coddled me, and unconditionally supported me ever since I finally accepted the role in November of 2003.
*These “other things” are concerns about my friends, supporters, critics, and enemies. I explain what we have concluded below.
I can admit it, they have spoiled me over the years. I’ve acted like a crying baby who needs a pacifier and his diaper changed. And it seems that no matter what kind of pacifier they put in my mouth, no matter how many times they changed my soiled diaper, I kept crying, Oh woe is me!
Regardless of my spoiled nature, they have never once treated me any differently than a loving mother would her crying, unsettled newborn. They have never questioned why I was “crying.” They have done everything in their power … everything mortally possible … whether current technology has caught up with their intelligence and means or not … (keep in mind, there are no magic or supernatural effects) … to pacify and quiet me.
Not one time have I ever heard a discouraging or negative comment about my actions. They never give me their opinion unless I ask. They never tell me what is best for me, because they don’t know what’s best for me. Just like everyone else, only I know what is best for me. And … NO, I don’t always know what is best for me! I have often done things that are not what is best for me. I have made countless messes of things in the past, only to have them clean up after me so that their work can go forward.
Here’s a hypothetical example of how those who know them and me, and have dealt with us in some way or another, see things:
I walk towards a cliff with my mentors behind me. They know I am approaching the edge and will surely fall off if I continue. But they don’t stop me. Instead of warning me of the obvious fall, they run as fast as they can to the bottom of the cliff to catch me when I fall.
I have often wondered why they continually allow me to fall from the cliff and catch me instead of yelling at me to stop. Or at the very least, find someone else that isn’t as impatient and impulsive as I am.
When we get to that part of my autobiography, I will explain how I tried to end my life in 2010 and set up one of my former friends and followers, Nathan Davis, so that they would be forced to make him their messenger.
Those who know Nate realize why I would make this choice. Nate had no skeletons in his closet, and was one of the kindest, most compassionate, most considerate men I have ever known. A perfect choice … at least according to my perception of how things should be.
Nate is no longer closely associated with me for his sake, but by his choice. I did not advise Nate personally to disassociate with me and this work. But I support his desire to support his dear wife, Kristin, … for now.
Needless to say, when it comes to this world, Nate Davis is a very weak man. Without his wife he would not be able to survive emotionally in this world. The world would destroy him. The wolves would devour him, he being a lamb among men.
Me … I’m more of a lion … much more than Nate.
Unlike Nathan Davis, I am like “the lion and the young lion roaring on his prey, when a multitude of wolves is called forth against me, I am not be afraid of their voice, nor abase myself for the noise of them.” (See Isaiah 31:4)
(NOTE to the Davises and Rohs: you’re welcome again among those who are close to me, IF you so choose … but only if you can deal with the Real Truth about all things … But anyways …)
Although I have often wished that there was another man or woman strong enough to be the True Messenger, sadly … as it speaks negatively of the rest of the male population … no other lion has a mane like mine.
Now, let me share something … a beautiful example about how the Bros deal with me when I get down.
He who is known by the world as Jacob, who is figuratively known as the mythical John the Beloved (“J”), is one of the most brilliant orators I have ever heard. Not only can he write beautiful poetry, but he recites it perfectly. I remember becoming conscious after my suicide attempt and first seeing the faces of my concerned mentors. They were smiling as I regained consciousness. Since I love music and poetry, I remember J reciting some passages from Isaiah … one of the crazy religious books I love to read and hear vocally cited, especially by J:
NOTE: I often write “Sigh” when I am depressed and confident that whatever words I shared above “Sigh” weren’t understood properly. Although I can’t remember how J quoted the following verses in Isaiah, as he quotes it as it was first written in its original Greek, this is where this particular poetic rendition (as I regained consciousness) came from:
“The burden of the desert of the sea. As whirlwinds in the southpass through; so it cometh from the desert, from a terrible land.
A grievous vision is declared unto me; the treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously, and the spoiler spoileth. Go up, O Elam: besiege, O Media; all the sighing thereof have I made to cease.
Therefore are my loins filled with pain: pangs have taken hold upon me, as the pangs of a woman that travaileth: I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it.
My heart panted, fearfulness affrighted me: the night of my pleasure hath he turned into fear unto me.
Prepare the table, watch in the watchtower, eat, drink: arise, ye princes, and anoint the shield.
For thus hath the Lord said unto me, Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth. (Isaiah 21:1-6)
Our recent discussions included the reasoning why I couldn’t be replaced.
After all, in my opinion, it wouldn’t be too hard to find someone to listen to what they know about Real Truth, then write it anonymously in their last book.
I was again reminded of our first conversation in Liberty Park located in Salt Lake City, Utah, after over 12 years of me avoiding them and falling from cliff after cliff, continually being marred by my own choices. I was reminded that if I could be replaced, they would have replaced me years before.
You see, Folks, knowing this, that to my mentors, I am irreplaceable, made me somewhat arrogant I suppose. I figured that if I was irreplaceable, then how I was must be okay. I figured that they chose to deal with my weaknesses, character, and personality. I figured this because I have known the Real Truth about our mortal existence for many years. This is MY DREAM! It is not theirs. It is not anyone else’s. I have unconditional free will to do things MY WAY. I am the Great I AM … just like everyone else is.
They have only counseled me when it comes to what to deliver in their work, leaving it primarily up to me as to the manner in which (how) I present things … as long as what I present is what they want presented.
What people don’t realize is that everything that has to do with religion is a lie. If everything about religion is a lie, then anything that we have done that is religious, was based on a lie and used a lie to explain it. It had to be this way or those who are religious wouldn’t have taken the time to consider the information.
I fought this (lying to the “lied to”) when they first approached me in 1991 to be their True Messenger. I didn’t want to lie. As we discussed things back then, I realized their point of view about only imparting a portion of the Real Truth according to what the people believed to be true. They convinced me that if we could get people to soften up a bit about their religious beliefs, then we could give them more Real Truth, as they could handle it.
It made sense to me, at the time, that a lesser portion of the Real Truth was necessary according to “the heed and diligence” that people give to God and religion; and that if the people “softened their hearts” they would be given a little bit at a time until they could accept the “mysteries of God” (i.e., Real Truth) in full.
I absolutely love the clue that they gave about this in their Book of Mormon:
” … It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.
And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.
And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell.” (BOM, Alma 12:9-11)
But when I lost my two eldest children because I chose to accept their offer, my fatherly emotions couldn’t handle it and I rejected their offer and told them to find someone else to lie to the “lied to”.
Unbeknownst to me at that time (1991), they knew that it was important for me to gain some more experience about being the right kind of True Messenger. As I continue to write my autobiography, it will become transparent … as well as apparent … that my ways were useless and unproductive at softening the hearts of people. In fact, I hardened a lot of hearts, especially of the women in my life. It would be these women, whose hearts I broke and hardened, that would hurt me the most and “cut my lion’s mane.” I love the Greek story of Hercules, upon which the Bible writers based their story about Samson. Women were these mythological heroes’ weaknesses.
After Sheri (II) decided to move on with her life instead of burdening me, or me burdening her, with relationship conflicts associated with a normal husband/wife situation, I lost hope that any woman was capable of setting aside normalcy and orthodox expectations.
To me, Sheri was the Queen of women … for those with eyes that see and ears that hear. If Sheri couldn’t do it, no one could. Sheri never understood how important she was to my mentors in supporting me. They were responsible for bringing us together in California in the first place. I fought the relationship at the beginning, breaking up with Sheri numerous times. T would intervene.
Sheri finally realized that her mortal woman needs were far too great and caused me more conflict than support. She made the right choice at the time.
If I were a woman, I wouldn’t want anything to do with a dude who doesn’t value mortal man-women relationships either. How can I value these relationships? I know the Real Truth about our existence as un-gendered advanced humans, and that mortal gender is part of our “fallen” state. Sex should not be and cannot play any part in the mortal experience … Yeah, and that there, Folks, is why a lot of people can’t handle the Real Truth and hope that this work is not what it claims to be. And I am just as mortal as any man.
Above I wrote:
“… and other things that have conflicted me lately.”
My mortal relationship with a woman is also one of these “other things” that I needed to resolve during these recent discussions with my mentors. Not only my relationship with a woman, but with others to whom I give access to my personal life. (See Circle of Supporters below.)
I am so tired of upsetting people and causing others misery. I am so tired of not fulfilling the expectations of other people who want to be my friend and be closely associated with me when I have so little to offer them according to their mortal needs.
Presently, I have few close relationships. And the few people who are closely associated with me know their role in my life and have no expectations of me. These few support me very similarly to how my mentors support me: patiently, unconditionally, and with a lot of integrity. Finally.
Recently I had some doubts as to what one of my close supporters was doing and how this person was handling certain situations that could affect certain things about this work. This particular person has dealt with my mentors in the past. Like a spoiled kid, I tattled on this person, thinking that my mentors would intervene and take my side.
Their response was … well, in plain and simple terms … Stay in your lane Bro!
Yep! If I swerve out of “my lane” while others are driving responsibly and staying in their lane, I cause wrecks. Oh my goodness! The amount of wrecks I have caused in my past.
But anyways …
I have agreed to no longer use profanity in my writings and/or speech.
Although I would win again on this issue if I put my foot down, this time is different. I now understand the importance of removing this stumbling block, thus eliminating the excuses that some might have to avoid responsibility for denying the Real Truth.
I no longer have to worry about being put on a pedestal by others. I am who I am. You either hate me and the message that I share, or you love me and can’t live peacefully without the message that I share.
Since I no longer have to publicly associate with people, and the only people with whom I will associate are those who are members of the True Order of Prayer Circle (described below), it doesn’t matter if I am hated or loved by others. None of these things matter any longer.
This time is different because I am allowed to tell the Real Truth of all things. Whereas I was very limited to what I was allowed to say and reveal in the past, this time is very different. It is different because we are leading up to the final book of this work, The Dream of Mortal Life, Understanding Human Reality—A Final Warning to the Human Race.
One of my close supporters once said that she didn’t care if her family accepted or liked me or not. She commented, ” They don’t deserve to be around you!”
Now, while this might imply an arrogance and pretentiousness, the time has come when this is right and is according to the wishes of my mentors.
I’ve always thought this same thing about my mentors … that others don’t deserve to be around them. Their kindness, their compassion, their incredible intelligence should not have to deal with those whose hearts are filled with hate and discord.
And now, whether it appears arrogant or pretentious, according to what we have concluded, it is relevant and applies to me.
These are not my words, but they are in context with what I shared before about my use of profanity:
The light of the moon does not shine so bright while abrogating its moonlight to lubricity. A beautiful moon shines for all those who recognize its beauty. The artificial lights of this world dim its brilliance. Rejecting the moon’s light, the world sees by its own. Let those who do not depend on the world’s light enjoy the beauty of the light of the moon.
Circle of Supporters
So, as to my close, personal associations with others, we (my mentors and I) have finally come to an agreeable resolution.
For those with eyes that see and ears that hear … which will only be these very few … these associations are symbolically a True Order of Prayer.
The reason why I have alienated myself from many close associations in the past is because of the negative feelings of those who were closely associated with me and … symbolically speaking … formed the circle where the True Order of Prayer can take place.
We have concluded that I need this “circle” of people, as it is very important to my ability to relate to mortals in a way in which I can properly communicate the Real truth to them. I will never allow drama or bad feelings to be close to me again.
Only the best of feelings should exist in the circle. If any of you have unkind feelings toward any member of this circle, you are invited to withdraw so that the Spirit of our True Selves may be unrestrained.
Some of my closest advanced human friends, sadly, will not be part of this circle because of their bad feelings, either towards me or towards others. I cannot allow them to be near me, as I can no longer handle mortal drama. We have agreed that I don’t have to deal with any more drama in my life.
Those who have not shared their personal story on the MWAW official website, I do not trust, no matter how close we are as advanced humans.
One of my best friends does not like to associate with ex-Mormons, many of whom are part of this small circle. I have not spoken to her in years. Unselfishly, she and I agreed not to associate while Sheri was having problems with jealousy about my relationship with her. She is married to a great guy, and although her husband has very little interest in this work, she loves him and has never showed any interest or intent of a relationship with me, other than just good friends. I miss her. She was one whom my mentors trusted. She actually saw one of my mentors as he and I were petting one of her horses. I was always impressed with the fact that she could have approached us and I would have introduced her to one of my mentors. She chose not to approach us. She is that respectful. Sometimes I miss her a lot, but I will not let her close to me, however, as long as she has negative feelings towards others in my close circle.
We have plans for this close circle of those who truly know how to pray in the True Order of Prayer, and this has nothing … ABSOLUTELY NOTHING … to do with religion or praying with words. It has to do with … Well, I’m going to use religious symbolism to present it as Joseph did in his endowment presentation:
The sisters in the [circle] will please veil their faces. Each brother in the circle will take the sister at his left, by the right hand in the Patriarchal Grip. Each of you bring your left arm to the square, and rest it upon the shoulder or arm of the person at your left.
Women are more apt to “see through the veil” (understand the Real Truth more easily) than men. That’s why they “veil their faces.” Women are on the left of the men because the left side symbolizes our mortal Self and experience (unrighteous, “left” works). Each person places the burden of their mortal Self on the strong shoulder (or arm) of another. We “shoulder” each other’s burdens, NEVER becoming a burden by choice.
If any of you have asked any thing … and I mean any thing … of any other, you will not be a part of this circle.
Those who belong to this circle do not take advantage of others. They do not ask to stay in your home because they, by choice, are homeless. They do not ask for your food because they, by choice, are hungry. They do not ask for help or support in anything. They give and do not receive.
If you do not work at a job where you take care of your own needs, and you are in need of support, you will never be part of this circle. The True Order of Prayer Circle isn’t a circle of the world’s view of charity. (For you religious ones: “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” [1 Corinthians 13:3]) It is a circle of true charity, i.e., intelligence and support of one thing and one thing only: this work.
This Circle surrounds this work and supports and protects it. I will not become personally involved with anyone who is not part of this Circle. I will not allow anyone to pull this Circle apart. The moment any one of this Circle brings drama or bad feelings into the Circle, is the moment you will be “invited to withdraw.” I won’t be the one inviting you to withdraw. I will not be part of a Circle of people where there are negative feelings. Therefore, the people of the Circle will be self-regulating, as they realize that I will withdraw immediately if such negative feelings arise.
There are some incredible things being planned for this Prayer Circle. My mentors have set up a place where this Circle will meet away from the world. The experience that will take place is without mortal comparison. We will discuss things that none other can handle. You will see and feel things that none other can see and feel.
In summary, although what I have written above borrows heavily on symbolism, those of this Circle will finally find a place (an actual place) and a group of people on Earth that they will cherish for the rest of their mortal lives.
Well, let me end this summary with more symbolism. To those of this Circle I can “verily say unto you”:
“But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.
For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.” (Matthew 13:16-17)
(Instructions on where and when this Circle will meet will be sent to those who are a part thereof.)
Critics and enemies
We are going to allow anyone to post anything contrary to this work on Critic’s Corner. There is no other website nor organization in this world that allows this. However, we are going to make it a requirement that the person uses their real name. We know that the Real Truth is far greater than anything anyone could possibly publish that is contrary to it.
We are not afraid of any other source or any other information. I no longer have any problem with being called a murderer, liar, pedophile, sexual predator, human trafficker, terrorist, manipulator, deceiver, cult leader, conman, fraud, extortionist, racketeer, or whatever else one might call me and present their “documentation” for evidence.
The Real Truth is the Real Truth. Nothing is going to change this. There is nothing that our enemies and critics can say or do that will stop the Real Truth from coming forth.
I could spend all of my time defending myself in court or online. But I won’t. We did it once and a world judge demonstrated what has always has been the case when a True Messenger confronts a judge.
I no longer have to defend myself. I am NOT this work. I am only a Messenger. I will continue to do my job regardless of what another person thinks or publishes about me.
Our critics and enemies can have their forum and write anything that they wish, IF they are brave enough to use their real name. We want others to see what the “wolves that howl” are like. Let them howl in public, unmasked, without the “sheep’s clothing.” We have given them permission to show their “wares” if they believe they have better information than what we present.
Go ahead and howl at the moon. No matter how much the wolves howl, no matter how loud they howl, no matter how long they howl, the moon pays no attention to them but continues to shine.
And shine I will.
I still need a few days to absorb what we have concluded.
I will be giving the BlogTalk podcast this Sunday. (Editor’s NOTE: Announcement is here.)
P.S. To those of you who carry on personal conversations with each other on this website (Jason and Craig): For God’s sake, please stop it! It is very annoying to everyone else. Thanks in advance. Start your own blog. But anyways … Sigh